How to Put Sugar in Sugar-Free Peppermint Mocha Truffles

gluten-free, dairy-free trufflesSomething my dad used to say that was horribly inappropriate, not accurate in context, but yet I thought of this week when I tried to make a recipe from the fab new cookbook using only Sweetleaf stevia* is this: You could fuck up a wet dream.

Yes, he is crazy, Cajun, and a lot of other things I won’t say here, but I was trying really hard to create this amazing refined sugar-free, gluten-free truffle situation and then I fucked it up. Don’t get me wrong—these truffles are freaking delicious, they’re just not sugar-free.

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Oh Man, I’m Going Vegan for Food Day. Maybe Longer.

KALE!!!!!!!

KALE!!!!!!!

Okay, not exactly vegan and not EXACTLY just for Food Day, but I thought it was the most awesome time to talk about healthier eating, is it not? It’s Food Day, guys! Let’s try and eat some whole and delicious foods, mmm’kay? This is the fourth October 24th when foodies and activists and other rad people gather to talk about eating sustainably, as well as changing the American diet to combat obesity and other health risks. I realize, while gluten-free, many of my recipes are not even close to being appropriate for any diet. Still, a girl’s gotta’ indulge every now and then, amIright? But I have come to my very own realization. I know. Hang on to your hats. Continue reading

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Gluten-Free Los Angeles: Meet My New Most Favorite Pizza

best gluten-free pizza Do you know what’s super cool? When you stumble upon gluten-free deliciousness, and not at all on purpose. That happened to me three times on a lunchtime walk the other day. Three times! Apparently that’s what can happen when you walk around Los Angeles. Who knew? Who knew you could even walk around Los Angeles? Now, you all do.

So the first gluten-free spotting I had was Caffe, Etc. where I found these awesome signs: Continue reading

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WTF is Gluten Ataxia?

gluten ataxia

Grandma and Tiny E on the farm, circa 2008

Gluten is an asshole.

Those of us who wind up in the pot after a lunch meeting know this, and those of us who came back from the brink of death after going gluten-free know this as well. And after returning from helping to move my mother into a more secure memory care unit in her assisted living facility, I think those who are unlucky enough to suffer from gluten ataxia, really, really, really, know it.

When I first learned about gluten ataxia and connected it to the strange and devastating decline of my mother, I had hope. I did. I now realize that it was too late for that and unlike me, my mom wasn’t going to have a magical recovery simply by following the gluten-free diet.

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Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free Chocolate Coconut Pie is Yum

gluten-free-dairy-free-chocolate-pieI love pie, ya’ll. I don’t love making it so much since that whole crust thing gets in the way. But as I’ve said before, and will say again and again and again, if you buy a pre-made gluten-free pie crust or use a gluten-free mix, you can rock that gf pie. Which is what I just did here with this one. Also, I did it without dairy*. What? I KNOW. Continue reading

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I’ll Never Hike the Appalachian Trail

gluten-free bad newsAnd I don’t mean that as a euphemism. This fact just hit me the other day, and I was shockingly despondent for oh, let’s say, 45 minutes.

I was listening to the NPR, as I do, and this segment came on about hikers on the Pacific Crest Trail being pleasantly surprised by some “trail magic” along their 5-month journey. This trail magic comes in the form of a dude who hits Costco and supplies these hardcore hikers with some much needed sustenance as they make their way into Canada, feet swelling up and toenails falling off.

There is nothing about any of what I just described that I can even kind of relate to. Still, the realization that I could never do any type of endurance activity that required me to be more than 5 miles away from a Whole Foods was kind of a bummer.

These hikers who stumbled across the “Sonora Pass Cafe” were positively orgasmic about the chocolate cake and other goodies a man provides out of the goodness of his heart and his love for hiking. Some hikers were on their last bit of dried foods when they came across the booty, and others simply hadn’t seen normal food for some time. There is no getting around the fact that I would die, right there on that trail.

And it made me start thinking about other limits on my activities given my need for gluten-free food. Because, you guys, if I were starving to death and someone offered me a bagel, it would be the final nail in the coffin. I do not want to poop myself to death because I thought it would be a good idea to “get some exercise” and “be in nature.”

I also realized that I could never be cast on a reality show where you have to band together and make food and stuff for survival. I know you haven’t been watching Utopia, because no one is, but they’ve got a bit of a food problem there. They don’t have a homemade hillbilly raisin wine problem, but they do spend their limited funds on foods that have a load of gluten. I mean, I would go on that show and announce that MY version of Utopia was gluten-free and I would be locked in the chicken pen. But again, no one would watch a reality show where one contestant was locked in the bathroom the entire season. Probably.

You know what else I can never, ever, never do? Let me tell you. In list form. Continue reading

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Gluten-Free Chuck E. Cheese ‘Cuz It’s Chucktober!

gluten-free-chuck-e-cheese

Okay, so this pizza is not gluten-free. But how cute is this????

Happy Chucktober everybody! Oh, you didn’t know that was a thing? IT IS. And I think my kids might have been the first to celebrate at the Burbank Chuck E. Cheese because they were so excited to see us wander in dressed like crazy people. Or maybe everyone at the Burbank Chuck E. Cheese is just way nicer than the one we used to go to in Brooklyn. 100% possible. Get it together, Atlantic Center.

Either way, when my kids walked into Chuck E. all dressed in costume they were greeted like skee ball champions with unlimited tokens. Which, they kind of were. You see, Chuck E. Cheese reached out to me about this promotion going on all over the nation in October—kids wear costumes, kids get 50 free tickets. Tickets which kids can trade for toys and candy that makes them lose their little minds. But I had another reason for wanting to go and write about Chucktober. A reason beyond going home with a ton of Fun Dip.

I’ve written about gluten-free parties for kids before in both my first book, and I also recommend Chuck E. Cheese as a fun gf spot in my upcoming book as well. It’s because of this – Continue reading

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