People say to me, “Hey April, where does gluten hide out, like the jerk that it is?” And this happens a lot, because I’m clearly an expert. In pretending that I know what I’m talking about. I usually stun the crowd by throwing out the improbable combo of blue cheese and soy sauce. But the other things that I, myself a gluten-hater, don’t always think about are drugs. Vitamins, minerals, and even the fun kinds can have gluten, or stomach-irritating ingredients. Which means cold and flu season can knock out a celiac, what with no chicken soup or ibuprofen around to soothe your pain and thin your snot. And Tylenol, I love you, but you just are not going to be able to help me through this winter on your own.
Which is why I was more than stoked to see gluten-free meds land on my doorstep yesterday. I honestly didn’t know anything like Vick’s Nature Fusion existed, which is probably why the marketing department of P&G is sending these things out to bloggers, like moi. But right there on the package of the cold and flu multi-symptom relief are those beautiful words: gluten-free. Unfortunately it’s also non-drowsy, as I love to get my sleep on when I’m in the middle of that nastiness. But I’ll take it. You know what else I’ll take? Vick’s Cough & Congestion gluten-free liquid. In fact, I don’t even feel sick but I’m thinking I might down a shot of it right now. Just because.
And this, food, drug, and drink manufacturers, is why it is in your best interest to g-free your shit. Because people like me, will buy/eat/drink/snort it as long as it has that label on it. I don’t care. It makes me stay up for 24 hours straight, but it’s gf? Bring it. For now at least, I’m just excited to see the word gluten, or hear it in mixed company. In fact, I interrupted a business meeting right next to me at this very cafe where I sit typing, when I heard the woman wanted to sell the owner some gluten-free pastries. Needless to say that mompreneur thanked me profusely. But the owner probably thinks I’m a maniac. Whatever, dude, I’ll give you five bucks for a piece of gluten-free cake that I don’t have to bake myself. Ten if it actually tastes good.
So even if P&G didn’t send me a whole box full of goodies, if I saw this gluten-free goodness at the Rite-Aid, it would be going home with me. Now, I’m just prepared early. Come on cold and flu — let’s see what you’ve got. I’ve got celiac, and a butt load of gluten-free drugs.