Gluten-Free Labor Day Should Include Tacos & Beer

I mean, duh. Quite frankly, every weekend should include this combo and it’s no mistake that the first meal I made when I got back stateside included both tacos and beer, since those were the two things I missed most. But of course finding gluten-free beer that keeps up with the gluten-filled Joneses can be difficult. Meet my new favorite brew, the Off Grid Pale Ale via New Planet. It’s almost totally like normal beer!

Tacos, of course, are not so difficult to enjoy gluten-free, but I did discover something that makes your tacos even more awesome: Stubb’s Green Chile Marinade.

This bit of awesomeness wound up in my mail on account of the gluten-freeness of it, and the fact that the nice people at Stubb’s found my blog. Plus, I used to spend an incredible amount of time at Stubb’s in Austin whether at a show or enjoying their Sunday gospel brunch. So I was already on board with just about anything Stubb’s had to offer.

This New Planet beer? Same kind of thing. I KNOW. I’m the luckiest blogger in the whole world. So naturally I put the two of these things together and had a kick-off in grand gluten-free style for the holiday weekend. Then, I passed right out because jet lag is hard.

So fire up the grill, celebrate America, work, and tacos with this super duper taco toppings that are soooo gluten-free.

Gluten-Free Airline Food Illustrated

So here’s something that happens all of the time. I hear the news that someone, somewhere, is offering gluten-free sustenance.  I get way excited.  Said gluten-free food sucks the big one. Then, I’m left feeling grateful yet depressed.  I don’t really know if I say, “Hey good job on that thing you totally suck at,” or take the other tack of, “Are you effing kidding me? You think you can cash in on this trend with this shit?”

Le sigh.

This particular trip I just took put me in this particular bind yet again.  However, the first time I flew to Europe via Canada, I was very pleasantly surprised at the gluten-free meal. This one (not the one seen above, more on that later).

Gluten-Free Paris: Musee D’Orsay

So yeah, so far it’s been, ummm, challenging to eat gluten-free in the Paris. Part of it is I want to be like, “Come on people, just give me a steak without the au poivre, can you?” And then go find that magical gluten-free buckwheat crepe people have been talking about it.

My expectations were perhaps, a bit high.

But don’t feel sorry for moi! I just had gelato and coffee from a French press in my rented apartment in Montmartre. See?

Which brings me to vacation rule #1 for the gluten-free: If ice cream is what you want, ice cream is what you get. While technically what I wanted was a buckwheat crepe, or another amazingly delicious jambon et fromage omelette — but this time without the gluten — I settled for gelato stracciatella.

And here is vacation rule #2 which comes from my husband’s Aunt Mimi: If all else fails, enjoy a museum and a salad. Turns out, that’s exactly what I did yesterday and it was pretty danged amazing.

GIMB Guest Post: Crying in the Bathroom

Hello my GIMBers! I’m probably in flight, or just landing, or getting lost around the rues of Paris. In my absence, I’ve asked the lovely — and gluten-free — Caroline Donahue to guest post.

Caroline was the very first celiac I met in real life. She also exposed my sister-in-law to gluten-free dining way before I was also afflicted, so I’m forever grateful that she got a family member all primed and ready for a gluten-free me. But most importantly, when I connected with Caroline right after my diagnosis she was the first person to tell me that anger was an acceptable response to my new “lifestyle.”  I just kind of ran with that.

So now, I’m thrilled to introduce Caroline, and her story of gluten-free dining and crying. Since we all know those two things go together like peas and carrots. Meet Caroline!

Gluten-Free Care Packages Are Here!

So this is a thing. Someone had the genius idea of curating a gluten-free box of snacks and sending them to your house once a month. Sure you could drive all over town and shop online to find all of these yummies in one place, but how much easier is it to have it arrive on your doorstep? Lots easier, that’s how much.

Especially if you’re a broke college student with a gluten problem. You’ve got to fend off the pizza delivery some way, so how about some Good Cookies? You’ve also got your mac and cheese, your bars, your pretzels. Really, you’re gluten-free set in the dorm.

Of course as an adult I can only do so much snacking, so I’m psyched the good people at GFreely sent me this box right before I fly across the universe. This way I can totally justify hoarding all of these munchies for myself. Have you had these Halfpops? Oddly delicious. But there’s more good news.

Gluten-Free Los Angeles: Rosa Mexicano

And New York, and I think maybe Vegas? While Rosa Mexicano used to be the only spot in New York City for fresh guacamole and killer margaritas, it is now known more for being a high-end Mexican joint that has migrated west. Also, thankfully, a zillion Mexican restaurants are now operating at delicious capacity throughout the five boroughs. Which is why I stopped eating at Rosa Mexicano when I was still living in New York, on account of the less expensive neighborhood joint that was rocking the tacos.

I’m so stoked to have gone back and not only had an amazing meal, but a meal that was also totally safe for my sensitive gut parts. I always say how going for Mexican food is a swell idea for the gluten-free. Yet I was still pleasantly surprised at the gluten-free reception awaiting me as I joined a group of lovely ladies for a farewell dinner at the West Hollywood Rosa Mexicano. When I did my usual spiel of, “I’ve got this bullshit autoimmune situation and do the pork meatball enchiladas have gluten?” the adorable actor/waiter who was trying to lose his Irish accent (with limited success) ran to get me this:

Why Yes, These Dog Biscuits ARE Gluten-Free

It’s Like a Whole Other Country

Say your dog is crazy sensitive. Perhaps your dog doc even said, “Maybe lay off the gluten,” on account of some issues. While there is a dog food for that, you’re going to need some gluten-free dog treats to go along with that IAMS. Yep, I made some dog treats for my dog who totally can eat two Whitman’s samplers back-to-back. I know she can since I’m the one who cleaned up the destruction in the wake of her gorge. But hey, why should I have all of the gluten-free fun? Doesn’t she look like she could use some gluten-freeness in her life?

I’m also pretty sure she was excited because I used my Texas cookie cutter. She’s never been to Texas, but now she has the chance to experience the magic, through dog cookies.

Holy hell, I cannot believe that I just cooked for my dog. I grew up in a time and place where dogs lived outside and if they ate dead animals from around the neighborhood, well that was one meal you did not have to provide. If your labrador grew a goiter on the side of his head, you just avoided it when petting him. This cocker spaniel, however, has been to the vet so many times, and received so many special treatments (Can we talk about the herpes on her feet? No? Okay) that I’m pretty sure I’ve spent more money on her than both of my children combined. So why not gluten-free dog treats? Why not?

So these snacks for pets were totally easy to make, and also make me realize that dogs don’t have to eat leftover junk that humans won’t touch. I picked this recipe from Bullwrinkle because there was peanut butter inside these munchies, and my dog does love the peanut butter. Needless to say, she freaking devoured these gluten-free dog biscuits.  Still, this whole gluten-free animal thing is somewhat hard for me to swallow. Not my three-year-old though, as he also enjoyed chowing down on the biscuits. Don’t judge.

This is how you make your dog happy, and gluten-free.

Air Canada Has Got Gluten-Free Going ON

I’ve made no secret of the insane preparation I go through before heading to the airport. If by insane, I mean, packing enough delicious gluten-free baked goods to make me forget the hellacious journey that is air travel today. Since I’m about a week away from hauling myself on a 14-hour flight, I’ve been contemplating exactly how many muffins one can stuff into a carry-on. Not as many as you might think, turns out.

For this very special trip, I decided to check into the business of eating on the flight. I know. I can hear you laughing already. However, those Canucks know how to treat a celiac. Because Air Canada has a gluten-free in-flight meal, you guys. A GLUTEN-FREE MEAL!

And I thought just going to Paris would be exciting.

Listen, I don’t have any illusions as to the quality of said meal. But an airline that serves Cadbury chocolate as a snack, just might have figured out how to please their international travelers. (I realize this optimism about food in the air can only be matched by a teenage backpacker headed to Europe circa 1995.)

Sure I’m lucky enough to be flying O’Canada, but what about the rest*? What’s up American? Let’s see, shall we?

3* Gluten-Free Rules That Should Exist But Totally Do Not

Listen up, bitches 

Perhaps you’ve noticed a lack of the bitching about gluten this week. That would be because my bitching hole has been busy getting rid of anything that might exist inside my stomach. Yep, stomach flu, or maybe some food poisoning, or maybe just some, “You know I hate you, right?” from my evil intestines. But here’s the thing. Getting a stomach ailment when you already have celiac, or any type of allergy or intolerance, is total bullshit. Which is why that is rule number one.

Gluten-Free Rule #1: No stomach illnesses allowed (outside of the already debilitating gluten-activated variety)

It’s a Pizza, It’s a Lasagna, & It’s Totally Gluten-Free

You guys, I just made something totally crazy delicious, and potentially deadly. Still, AWESOME. Because apparently I spend an unhealthy amount of time on Pinterest, I stumbled across this gem of a recipe that turns your lasagna into a three-meat pizza situation, but without the crust. It’s sick. And I mean that in the tween sense. You see, this is only the first layer -

According to the original recipe, there are three layers of this business. Since that makes five hundred tons of this gooey goodness, I cut it down a bit as there’s only so much cheese my family can digest. Also, the last time I ate three meats I got celiac, so I turned three into two. But if you want to go whole hog, please check out the original and go meat-crazy. Just make sure you’ve got your gluten-free pepperoni and sausage. I highly recommend Applegate Farms. Delish.

Because I also care about you vegetarian gluten-free types, I had this thought: Remove the pepperoni and sausage and replace with spinach and mushroom, and voila! Vegetarian heart attack on a plate. Vegans, I’m totally sorry you’re out of luck on this one because no one wants to eat this much faux cheese.

This is how you do it -