Okay, it’s a little horrible. In case it’s not clear by what I ate on Monday, I could use some healthy dietary changes. But when my husband suggests — and oh, how he suggests — that we maybe try to not eat red meat, or so much dairy, or sugar, or booze, or whatever the weekly healthy option is; I kind of freak out. Because, duh, gluten.
Not believing that those of us who are forced into dietary restrictions should volunteer for any more, I usually agree to do it, then the night before I explain why I absolutely will not subject myself to the torture that is no more In ‘N’ Out. Nobody really wins this battle, least of all my blood sugar counts. But I totally came up with a solution that does not involve me permanently altering my diet!
Perhaps you’ve heard of that Dr. Oz and his amazing detox cleanse diet? No? Well that’s okay because as I said before, if you have to give up gluten no one should ever take anything else away from you. Ever. But if you want to re-set your health button, and only want to commit to two days of it, do this 48-hour detox that involves taking a bath. Which I’m very much for, btw.
The whole idea behind a cleanse — or at least this particular cleanse — is to get rid of the toxins in your body and start over, hopefully making better choices for optimum health. Also some people say this cleanse gives you energy, helps you sleep better, and all sorts of other things. Personally, it gave me a migraine and a growling stomach. Still, I guess it was a good thing?
You might want to go on over to Dr. Oz’s site, because in addition to hating cleanses, I also hate the following ingredients that he recommends: pineapple, prunes, bananas, and sauerkraut. Which means I totally changed up the cleanse to suit my own preferences, and also I’ve really got to expand my palate.
But the gist of this cleanse is a quinoa cereal for breakfast, smoothie for lunch, unlimited kale and pineapple juice and/or certain vegetables for a snack, like this -
Finally, you can enjoy a very serious vegetable soup for dinner, alongside sliced apple and sauerkraut.
If you’re normal, and not like me, this means you’ll have a ton of food to eat and drink throughout the day. A ton of gluten-free food! Although, pretty much any cleanse will be gluten free. Especially those with zero food.
Do it! Or don’t. Really, you do enough already.