Category Archives: Celiac Disease

Gluten-Free Hard Rock Cafe?

gluten_free_hard_rock_cafeFirst of all, no, I have no idea why I just ate the Hard Rock Cafe in Hollywood. Okay, I do.

See, my girl wanted a special day with me because I’ve been working like an insane person and she’s been thrown in every camp from here to the border, so she’s all, “Mom. Pay attention to me.” I decided it might be fun and ridiculous to take one of those bus tours around Los Angeles and while we were on said tour, we got a coupon for the Hard Rock Cafe. Lunch was solved. But first, did you know Brad Pitt used to dress up like a chicken in front of this particular El Pollo Loco to sell their wares?

But I’m also going to tell you about the upside.

gluten_free_hard_rock_cafeThat is a naturally gluten-free pomegranate margarita. They do have the booze there at the Hard Rock, because you know, they rock hard. I figured out pretty quickly why the ladies room reeked of vomit when they plunked down those drink menus where you can get like a French press filled with boozy lemonade and for an extra $3 you get 12 extra ounces and shot . . . of whatever. I felt like I was at LAX and my flight was just delayed. But I stuck with just one giant margarita, because I’m responsible like that.

While the Hard Rock Cafe does not offer a gluten-free menu, they do have gluten-free buns for the burger. And as a bonus, our lovely server was in-the-know about the shared fryer so he knew I couldn’t have French fries. Maybe it was because we switched servers in the middle, but one thing did get lost in translation when I opted for the side salad instead of the gluten fries. If you look really closely in that pic above, you’ll see croutons up in that green salad. Sigh. Although, let’s be honest. I was at the Hard Rock Cafe on Hollywood Boulevard ordering a big ass margarita and cheese burger with triple cheese. I was not there for the side salad. This kid, however, was mucho impressed.

gluten_free_hard_rock_cafeI got to share with her my fave story about that time my boyfriend was working at the London Hard Rock and I sent him a mix tape that was so rad they played it there on heavy rotation. Which led her to asking me why they weren’t playing it in the L.A. Hard Rock if it was so good, and I had to explain to her that The Pixies are not what the kids are listening to these days. Still, she learned a lot about KISS that day, which made it all worth it.

So, yeah, maybe avoid the Hard Rock unless they up their gf game. And maybe other reasons.

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Oh Boy, I’m Going Gluten-Free Camping

gluten-free campingWhy do I do this to myself? I believe I’ve made it clear that camping and I are not the best terms. In fact, I’m pretty sure I have uttered the words, “Like hell,” when asked if I would ever sleep in a tent outdoors ever again. This camping trip, however, does not involve tents, nor sleeping on the ground. Also, it seems I will be surrounded by food writers. Which as we know, are the best kind of writers. BECAUSE THEY FEED YOU.

Yep, I’m headed to the super rad food writing conference, Camp Blogaway this weekend to hang out in the hot tub with my fellow food writers. (It’s not really camping if there’s a hot tub, right?) And while I am very excited, of course I’m a little nervous as well. I mean, most of all I’m afraid of not having dessert, which is why it’s almost midnight and I’m up finishing off a mega batch of gluten-free Monster Cookies.

I’m all set, guys. Of course I can live on gluten-free Monster Cookies all weekend, I mean, duh. But there are a few things I’m still a bit scared of up there in the mountains and cabins. Shall I do a countdown? Oh, I think I shall.

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Top 10 Reasons to Go to Ireland with GIMB

Gluten Free Ireland Hi gang! So I’m going to be filling all of you lovely people in about my super fun gluten-free trip to Ireland over the next month’ish. While I can’t wait to regale you of tales of cooking classes, food tours, and all-around good times, first of all I’m going to illustrate for all of you why, exactly, you absolutely must join me in Ireland this October 1st-7th.

Sure, you want a good gluten-free time on vacation without having to constantly worry, “Is this safe? Is that safe? Is that someone making fun of me in the kitchen?” And Custom Ireland and I will certainly be offering this experience up to you in spades. Spades, my friends. But there may be a few things you haven’t thought about yet, but you should.

Here are the top 10 reasons you have to come to Ireland with me:

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My Gluten-Free Responsibility

gluten-free restaurantHey gang o’ gluten-haters.

I hope your weekend was super duper lovely, filled with gluten-free cake. I really do. Me? Well, I’ve been struggling with whether to write this post or not because I always want to be fair. Sometimes even erring on the side of too fair, and facing consequences at a later date. (Looking at you, Loteria.) So I don’t know if not publishing the name of the restaurant is fair (to them), or unfair (to you). Fairness, it turns out, is complicated.

I was, in fact, all ready to write a glowing post about a new’ish restaurant I tried and how knowledgeable the wait staff was, and how excited I was to eat something other than my beloved steak and Brussels sprouts combo when I dine out. So I started writing it, even with a caveat. The caveat being, since I’m still in the middle of a really bad gluten’ing, I’m still getting sick every day, multiple times a day. (And no, the queso was NOT WORTH IT.) So how can I tell if a restaurant is truly safe, if I’m already sick?

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Who Wants to go to Gluten-Free Ireland With Me??????

Gluten Free Ireland Oh, hey. So this is awesome. I’m teaming up with Custom Ireland to blow your minds. Or rather, to host, guide, and wander around a culinary tour through Ireland! And oh yeah, the culinary part is TOTALLY GLUTEN-FREE!!!!! Can I get a, “Hells, yeah?” Or maybe an, “Erin Go Bragh!”

Quite frankly, either would be appropriate in this scenario.

So as we finalize the details, sign up if you’re interested in learning more about this amazing (and safe!!!) adventure that will happen October 1st – 7th of this fine year, 2014. I will give one hint as to what may be happening: Jameson’s Irish Whiskey is gluten-free. Do you want to know more? Click “I want to know more!!!” and you will get all the deets asap.

Come with, it will be a gluten-free ball!

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Gluten-Free Jokes Funny/Not Funny

ford-gluten-free-billboardRecently The Onion posted what I thought was a hilarious guide to going gluten-free. Hilarious, because it had fantastic suggestions such as:

  • Above all, remember to stock up on money, as staying gluten-free requires a diet rich in supplemental income.

I loved that the parody did not feel mean-spirited, and that it had a ring of “wow, wouldn’t that be great/awful?” to it as well.

And then I saw the Ford billboard above that Gluten Dude posted and thought that was hilarious as well. Not as funny as “murder all bakers in proximity to your home” but still, I chuckled.

At this point one might think I’m the easiest audience ever. One might be right, but today I saw Jimmy Kimmel’s “Pedestrian on the Street” segment and wow, did I not think it was funny. Maybe it’s because it hits too close to home as these people are most definitely dining in the same restaurants as I am in LA, and talking to the same waitstaff that I give my speeches to when I want to eat without getting violently ill. Or maybe it’s because I can’t seem to get over that gd queso gluten-ing and I’m over-cranky, but I did not find this funny. At all. Continue reading

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The Gluten-Free Dining Lesson I Was Too Dumb to Learn the First Time

gluten-free diningOh hey, guys. What’s going on with you? Me? I’m just trying to get over a gluten’ing that was so stupid I have to say that perhaps, I even deserved it. No, no, don’t try to make me feel better. Unless making me feel better involves delivery of gluten-free crackers and fancy cheese. Then, please continue.

You see, I was in Austin, Texas as I do and enjoying the usual “OHMYGOD EVERYTHING IS GLUTEN-FREE HERE” vibe when on my way out of town I tempted fate. I decided stopping by Chuy’s Tex-Mex was  a great idea since I was totally craving burritos, and even though I can’t have burritos, well maybe I could be burrito-adjacent and still be happy.

Why yes I did write once before about how I can never eat there ever again, like never. But I had that craving and I thought, “Hey, maybe they’ve gotten hip to the gluten-free program!” I was so wrong that I was even more wrong than the first time I tried to eat Tex-Mex. I mean, I wrote in my BOOK about the dangers of Tex-Mex. What, in the name of churros, was wrong with me?

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