3 Awesome Gluten-Free Things Are Going Down This Weekend

One . . .

Two . . .

Me!

Say you live in LA. Say you live in LA, and you like gluten-free cupcake tops. Say you live in LA, like gluten-free cupcake tops, and free buttons with curse words on them. Now. You live in LA, you like gluten-free cupcake tops, free dirty buttons, and want to know if I have one of those high squeaky voices, or pack-a-day tenors. THIS WEEKEND IS YOUR LUCKY WEEKEND.

Gluten Is My Bitch Button is Back & It’s a GIVEAWAY

Yep. I got more of these bad boys. My publisher and I thought it was especially necessary since oh, about a zillion of you fine people FREAKED OUT at the Celiac Disease Foundation conference this weekend and demanded more “F*ck Flour” buttons. I believe I heard a chant near the Glutino booth at one point.

Now, I don’t know exactly how many I’m getting but they are on their way. So here’s what you do to get your own.

What to Expect at the Celiac Disease Foundation Expo: Books, Cookies & Dinosaurs

Okay, at least one of those things. And me! Me! I’ll be up in Pasadena this weekend at the CDF Conference and big ass gluten-free expo selling my books to the FIRST PEOPLE IN AMERICA. Whoo-hooo! So line up, celiacs. But don’t expect cookies or dinosaurs. That was totally false advertising to lure you in. Not unlike when you flip through the Anthropolgie catalog and you’re all, “If I bought that blouse, I could swing in a hammock overlooking a rain forest!” Just books.

Although I’m guessing you’ll get your fill of gluten-free goodies up in the expo. These gluten-free cookies? These are King Arthur’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Mix that my husband whipped up to provide my girl with a gluten-free cookie for a field trip. Sure they were delicious, but something is a little funny here in the court of King Arthur. You see, you have to provide your own chocolate chips. Luckily, we always have chocolate chips in my house so we were cool. It just seemed a bit, I don’t know, odd. I conveniently missed the note on the box of the gluten-free chocolate chip cookie mix that said, “make it special with your add-ins” and then took a second look and realized it actually said “gluten-free cookie mix.” Sorry, I was just distracted by that delicious looking chocolate chip cookie on the box. Don’t be fooled fellow gluten-freers! And bring your own add-ins.

Do you know one very special thing I AM bringing with me to the expo (besides, of course Gluten Is My Bitch: Rants, Recipes, & Ridiculousness for the Gluten-Free)?

Gluten-Free Steel Cut Oat Granola Bars with Almonds & Coconut (Contest Alert!)

Oats. The bane of many a celiac’s existence. Can you eat them, can you not eat them? Are they all junked up with flour, or are they totally cool? Why so complicated, oats? This is why when Bob’s Red Mill serves up the gluten-free quick cooking oats, and the delicious steel cut oats, it’s time to get your oat on. Like I did last year when I made up some gluten-free Monster Cookies and gluten-free oatmeal muffins and entered Bob’s Spar for the Spurtle Oatmeal Recipe Contest which includes a trip to Portland, Oregon and potentially, Scotland.

All this for enjoying some delicious oat treats.

So you’ve got to grab some of these gf steel cut oats and get to recipe making, because duh, Portland. But also you can bring much pride to the good people at Bob’s Red Mill if you are chosen to represent them in the great Spurtle race across the pond. That was a really fun sentence, yes?

Last year I entered the contest too, and for some crazy reason I totally didn’t win. Redonkulous, no? But this year, I’m going all granola bar and let’s see if this is a winner. Thus far, these gluten-free bars are a hit in my house, since I just ate three of them for breakfast. Fast, easy, and super yum.

Now, go enter that contest! And see how you can make a lovely granola bar your own selves.

Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free Lemon Fettucine Alfredo + Vacation Giveaway — What?!

It’s true. I totally made something that was healthy’ish. And look at that side of broccoli. Damn, that’s some healthy eating right there. When the So Delicious people asked if I’d like to throw some recipes their way, I said sure! After all, I do have an almond problem and that includes almond milk. So why not start using it wherever I can. Namely, in a creamy, dreamy gluten-free, dairy-free fettucine alfredo.

One thing I’ve been doing for awhile now is using millet flour when I make a rue. For some reason the millet does the trick. I heart millet. And instead of milk, I grabbed that So Delicious almond milk. Yum to the yum-yum. Sure it’s exciting to transform a formerly decadent meal into a g-free, d-free wonder. But you know what’s even more exciting?

Winning a freaking foodie trip to Red Mountain Resort in St. George, Utah. Yep, that’s a free trip. You can vote every day to enter this contest. Every day, you click on this link vote for me, and you’re entered to win a fab vacation.  Oh, and you get a coupon just for voting. Nice.

So how do you make this? Like so.

Ham & Corn Chowder For the Cold Yet Lazy Celiac + Another Giveaway!

Gluten-Free Challah Courtesy of The Sensitive Baker

Dang it’s been cold this week in Southern California. While I can hear all of you in Canada snickering at me right now, it’s barely busted out of the 50s, you guys! Which means, I need a light jacket and some hearty soup.

Luckily a brand spanking new cookbook , The Naptime Chef: Fitting Great Food Into Family Life landed on my doorstep and I have a zillion yummy options to choose from, that are naturally gluten-free. Wheeee! My first stop was right on the Ham & Corn Chowder recipe that took me less than half an hour to make, and about 15 seconds to slurp up into my chowder hole. Kelsey Banfield has this cooking thing figured out, and if you’re the lucky winner of my next giveaway — you can see her beautiful, super easy, yet fancy, new cookbook with your own two eyes.

I first discovered Kelsey’s delicious blog when I was an editor at a parenting site and was tasked with pulling together a food blog. Since I immediately bookmarked three recipes on The Naptime Chef, I knew she was onto something that I was loving, and everyone else would as well. And now the Gen X Martha Stewart has a whole book full of delicious, and easy (she makes them during her daughter’s naptime — get it?) recipes that make you feel happy inside.

The weather (I know, I’m a total wuss) was the main reason I chose this naturally gluten-free chowder recipe, but let me just throw some other names of Kelsey’s amazing options in her new book that are gluten-free, or easily tweaked: Baked Cheese Dip, Sweet Potato & Lentil Stew, Creamy Parmesan & Chive Polenta, Mint Chip Meringues, and Dutch Oven Pulled Pork. I’m going on a mad cooking spree this weekend with The Naptime Chef, and you can too!

To get your own copy of The Naptime Chef: Fitting Great Food Into Family Life, head over to my Facebook page, and tell me what your favorite cold weather gluten-free food happens to be. And how cold it is where you live, so I can feel vastly superior about my own weather. Thank you, and good luck!

Now for the recipe. YUM.

Gluten-Free Coconut Layer Cake to Wreck Your Diet + Giveaway!

I’ve been trying to be all healthy and stuff for the past few weeks, yet I whipped up a gluten-free coconut layer cake. That’s called sabotage, my friends. But for the best of reasons! You see, the lovely people at Bob’s Red Mill are looking for a little recipe development and I drew the “coconut flour” straw. On purpose, because one of the main things I think about since I lost my ability to eat gluten without it attacking my insides, is that luscious coconut cake from the farm of Pepperidge. A cake farm is a beautiful thing, isn’t it?

I know those guys don’t use coconut flour in their layer cakes, but when I hear the words “coconut flour” I automatically think about those white layers of icing and cake and a smattering of coconut. Mmmmm . . . smattering. So I was sent some coconut flour and flakes to do some experimenting. (Note, in addition to making this amazoids cake, I made some coconut flour gluten-free meatloaf, and scones. All RAD.) Yet this coconut layer cake was the mother scratching bomb, so I’m going to lay it all out for you.

But before we get to the butter cream frosting, let me fill you in about the wonders of coconut flour. Some fun facts, if you will.

1. Coconut flour is hella’ dense, so you’ve got to either cut back on the amount you substitute when cooking gluten-free, or add tons of moisture. Or both! Experiment a lot to get the right texture. Also, you might want to sift it before using to give it some air up in there. I did.

2. Coconut flour is packed with protein. Great for vegetarians and vegans. Or people who love coconut flour, duh.

3. Coconut flour smells like weed. (Okay, I think this. My husband thinks I’m crazy. But I’m standing by this, as I’m pretty sure I know what marijuana smells like.)

All of this is to say, you need some coconut flour in your diet. I worked with a couple of different recipes and re-jiggered them to create this coconut layer cake, and it was so delicious my husband took half of it to his office to remove the temptation from our home. At least I think that’s why he took it to his office. Hmmmmmm. I, however, can’t seem to stop eating this incredibly moist, fluffy, coconut cake. And there goes my Oscar diet.

If you, too, want to blow your diet and wow your office-mates with this gorge coconut layer cake, it’s your lucky day! I’m giving away a bag of coconut flour, and coconut flakes from Bob’s Red Mill, along with a $50 gift card to tha’ Mill. Just leave a comment on my Facebook page telling me how you like to wreck your diet. Easy! I’ll do a random drawing, and announce the winner next week. After the Oscars, and after I can see how much damage having another piece of cake for breakfast is doing to my body.

Here’s how to make that cake:

Gluten-Free 4-Alarm Chili for The Slow Cooker Challenge!

When someone offers you a challenge, you’d better take it. You don’t know when they’ll offer again, and you don’t know how much glory could come your way if you won said challenge. So I’m all over The Naptime Chef, Big Girls, Small Kitchen/Small Kitchen College Slow Cooker Challenge. Also, I’m lazy and like to just throw things in a pot and let it do all the work for me.

If you like robots too, you should head on over to one of those amazoid websites and enter to win a gorgeous Breville Slow Cooker or stunning Delonghi Slow Cooker. You’re going to be slow cooking all winter long, and thanking these people for ever existing in the first place. Because you know what you can cook in a slow cooker? EVERYTHING. But especially, gluten-free chili.

There are a few things that could make your chili non-gluten-free (because I know you’re wondering). Some people throw in thickening agents like gluten-filled flour or masa, or like the recipe I use — beef bouillon cubes. If this recipe becomes your favorite, like it should, always check those bouillon cubes for gluten-freeness, because most of them are not. Maybe try this one –

I don’t know what makes chili go off with two-, three-, or four-alarms, but I’m pretty sure four-alarm is the best, so that’s what I’m calling this delicious, flavorful, hearty FOUR-ALARM chili. Also, I’m from Oklahoma and Texas, so you have to believe me when I tell you anything about chili.

Did you know chili was originally invented when a pioneer child played a practical joke by filling up the beef stew cauldron with hot peppers and a variety of beans she’d previously been using in her (illegal) poker rings? Naturally, that child was traded to the Native Americans in exchange for maze, yet everyone agreed that little girl had greatly improved upon the boring beef stew that everyone was — quite frankly — sick of anyway.

That’s totally not true, but if I insist, you HAVE to believe. You must also believe in the deliciousness of this gluten-free chili.

I’ve Been Driving By Gluten

It’s been a rough week in gluten-free land. Even with my delightful summer treats, I’ve been fighting a wicked craving for gluten. I found myself in front of the 7-11 staring at their glossy photos of donuts and buffalo chicken rollers just wanting. I wonder what it would be like to just pull into a mall parking lot and go crazy in the food court. I started a list of things I would eat if I decided to fall off the wagon: First, donuts, second, cupcake, third, pizza, fourth, Roscoe’s chicken and waffles and fifth, real turkey sandwich from Larchmont Deli. I’ve honest-to-god been contemplating my great moment of cheating and wondering which temptress would be the one.

So naturally, I accidentally (if there are, indeed, accidents) ate gluten not once but twice, and have been hella’ sick. I know. It’s so on-the-nose. Could I be any more text-book?

We Have a Gluten-Free Winner!

You can be just like me! Happy and burger-full.

Thank you to everyone who entered the Udi’s/GIMB contest. Hopefully you’ve seen the beauty of a gluten-free hamburger bun, and will continue the tradition of smuggling them into your favorite burger joints. And while everyone is truly a winner, if you chow down on gf goodness this weekend, only one can win the super duper $50 back-to-school prize pack from Udi’s. And that one lucky lady is . . .