Tag Archives: celiac disease

Worst. Vacation. Ever.

banksy-graffiti-throwing-up-flowers.jpg.662x0_q100_crop-scaleDo you ever feel, sometimes, like the whiniest person in the universe? Sure, we’ve got a disease and it makes us quite miserable, but I have to say every time I read the comments here, go to a celiac conference, or just read my FB feed, I realize—damn, girl, you’re lucky! After all, my diagnosis was like, in five minutes, my family has been nothing but (mostly) supportive, and my kids are ALL IN on gluten-free pizza. Most of my vacations have been pretty great, as it seems I blow it on my last day. So when I got this email, holy marymotherofgod, WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS WOMAN????

Luckily, Sharone at The Gut Reaction has a helluva sense of humor. So not only can we LEARN from her incredibly horrific family vacation to the Dominican Republic, but laugh. Just a little. You guys, it was horrible. Here’s a snippet: Continue reading

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Pasadena Is About To Be Hella’ Gluten-Free & You Can Go For Free!!!

gluten free expoWho’s down for a totally gluten-free weekend in Pasadena? I know I am. The National Celiac Disease Foundation Conference is happening June 7-8th (which is coming UP SO FAST) and it’s a super party/information festival for all of us who are battling the gluten.

I love that CDF Expo and Conference. This will be my third year attending, and first year as an official blogger. I’m pretty sure I get to wear a hat that says “CDF FTW” or maybe “FUGLTN” not sure which. What I do know for sure is that I’ll be taking in all the information about what’s going on with the latest in celiac, gluten-free foods, and hanging out with other amazing bloggers who hate gluten. STOKED.

Whether you’re someone who wants to hear the doctors and researchers speak (which, of course you do because aren’t we just waiting for one of them to say, “Guess what? If you eat Jelly Bellys before croissants, you’ll be a-OK!”) you MUST register for both Saturday and Sunday, or rather Saturday for the conference, then Sunday is thrown in. I know I’ll be there. Mostly on account of the breakfast buffet that includes gluten-free French Toast, but also for the mad knowledge they will be dropping.

Then you can wander around the EXPO where you can try out all of the latest gluten-free products and some fantastic standbys, and maybe come by and give me a high-five. Because I’ll be hanging out as well! And just to make sure you’ll be dropping by and soaking up all that info, I’m giving away 5 (five!) passes to the Sunday Expo! That’s right, 5 passes!

All you have to do is comment below and tell me what you most want to see at the 2014 CDF Expo and I will randomly select you people and HOOK YOU UP. Then you can come by and say, “April, can we talk about poop?” FUN.

See you in Pasadena!

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On Getting Gluten’d

Why you gotta' play my mama like that?

Why you gotta’ play my mama like that?

Oh, hai. You guys, I have to say I’ve been feeling a big neglectful lately. When I was all up in the Whole 30 I was posting every damn thing I was cooking up. When I’m being normal, I’m all “Ohmygoddidyouseethis???” But I’ve had a rough week. A week that I’m pretty sure started with me getting gluten’d, and then I thought maybe some gluten-free fettucine alfredo followed by ice cream would be no problem, but guess what BIG ‘EFFING PROBLEM. Because apparently dairy is lining up to bite me in the ass. And then, I was so totally 100% pure eating that I can’t figure out why I’m still sick. Oh, right, it’s because you don’t get slipped gluten then go back to a normal life after you’ve pooped it out. Which is why I’m writing this post. Because, you know what? I don’t really think people get it when you say you have celiac and you can’t have gluten. I think people don’t get that this is a disease, and it has serious consequences, and those of us with this stupid sprue are actually sick. Like, have a disease. Which is why it’s called celiac disease.

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What to Expect at the Celiac Disease Foundation Expo: Books, Cookies & Dinosaurs

celiac disease foundation expoOkay, at least one of those things. And me! Me! I’ll be up in Pasadena this weekend at the CDF Conference and big ass gluten-free expo selling my books to the FIRST PEOPLE IN AMERICA. Whoo-hooo! So line up, celiacs. But don’t expect cookies or dinosaurs. That was totally false advertising to lure you in. Not unlike when you flip through the Anthropolgie catalog and you’re all, “If I bought that blouse, I could swing in a hammock overlooking a rain forest!” Just books.

Although I’m guessing you’ll get your fill of gluten-free goodies up in the expo. These gluten-free cookies? These are King Arthur’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Mix that my husband whipped up to provide my girl with a gluten-free cookie for a field trip. Sure they were delicious, but something is a little funny here in the court of King Arthur. You see, you have to provide your own chocolate chips. Luckily, we always have chocolate chips in my house so we were cool. It just seemed a bit, I don’t know, odd. I conveniently missed the note on the box of the gluten-free chocolate chip cookie mix that said, “make it special with your add-ins” and then took a second look and realized it actually said “gluten-free cookie mix.” Sorry, I was just distracted by that delicious looking chocolate chip cookie on the box. Don’t be fooled fellow gluten-freers! And bring your own add-ins.

Do you know one very special thing I AM bringing with me to the expo (besides, of course Gluten Is My Bitch: Rants, Recipes, & Ridiculousness for the Gluten-Free)?

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Can We Talk About Doctors?

doctors celiacAfter spending a day-in-the-half in the hospital, first for myself, then for my daughter, I’ve recently had the delight of being exposed to a number of physicians. While I’m a big fan of my general practitioner, and don’t even get me started on my GI doc (so handsome, so unfazed by poop talk), whenever I’m sick I find myself in that position of playing phone dodge with my GP’s office. Usually I’m calling before they open, or after, or in that two-hour lunch break where the staff refuses to answer the phone for 15 minutes leading up and 15 minutes after. Which is how I wound up at one of those walk-in clinics on the weekend, and ultimately in the ER.

All doctors are not created equal, ya’ll. Some of them are all, “Umm, yeah you should NOT be taking these antibiotics,” and others are like, “I’m pretty sure it’s not the most powerful antibiotics in the world that you’re hoovering while being celiac, but merely a stomach bug,” as I’m being pumped full of morphine. Then there’s the, “It was probably that burger you had.” Ummm, don’t mess with my burger, people. Do. Not. Mess. (Although if it does turn out to be the burger, well, fool me once contaminated meat, shame on you . . . )

Then we’re all up in my daughter’s villi and the result is, “Looks good, but that blood test seems wonky, so let’s biopsy and talk about this celiac situation again.”

Okay. I get that maybe medical science isn’t all that exact. I get that people get misdiagnosed, non-diagnosed, and just ignored for years. But at this point I was preparing for my super duper exciting book release (TUESDAY!!!!) and my even more exciting book hocking this weekend at the CDF Gluten-Free Expo in Pasadena. (Yes, I do realize that “excited” and “gluten-free expo in Pasadena” do not usually go together. But you, my people, get it.) And instead of just sitting around staring at a pile of books, grinning like an idiot I’m instead staring at this gluten-free chicken soup and waiting for when I can actually eat it without yakking.

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Celiac Disease Turns Out to Be Awesome

gluten-free kidsIf you almost threw up reading that headline, know that I’m with you. Still. It turns out that I’ve discovered the most useful thing about having celiac disease—you can help other people when they receive the same diagnosis. Which is what just happened. But before I get all wise and zen-like, let me just say this—

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10 Things I Learned From the Gluten-Free Diet

gluten-free cupcake

Brought to me by a very lovely writer of mine at my job, this is Sweet Arleens, ya’ll!

So the first thing I cooked up in my Dutch oven the second I was finished with this gluten-free reset diet situation was gluten-free short ribs and black beans (recipe later). I also had some gluten-free Omission beer, and a gluten-free cupcake, as seen above. Not coincidentally, I also had a wicked gluten-free stomach ache because apparently you’re not supposed to indulge in such an extravagant manner after eating three weeks of vegetables. But you guys, the main thing I learned from this cleanse-y, restricted diet thing? I fucking love food. 

The happiest I’ve been in three weeks was the day I woke up and said, “Oh my god, I can eat cheese again!” I picked up some brie, some cotswald cheddar with chives, a little Parmesan and gouda mixture, and I have some burrata just waiting for me in the fridge. Not much makes me happier than knowing a good meal is only moments away. Or a good appetizer. I’m not picky. That scenario did not happen so much for me on my restricted diet.

Still, it was a really great experience for a few reasons. One, I lost five pounds. But even more importantly, I learned some big time gluten-free life lessons. You wanna’ know what they were? Read on! Continue reading

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Gluten-Free Diet Remorse

gluten-free diet remorse

No one can complain with a gluten-free Chipwich in your mouth

Hello, GIMBers! I’m feeling a little weak from my whole reset/vegan’ish situation and it’s making me ponder that other time I had to cut out a major food group. Which was, coincidentally, two years ago last week! Happy horrible going gluten-free anniversary to me.

But I’m not the only one who was upended by this dramatic change, I have a family and all. When you’re diagnosed with celiac disease, the advice is to remove all gluten from the home; which means your roommates are going on the diet too. If you decide to go on a gluten-free diet — whether forcibly, or otherwise — you have to stop and consider the other people living in your home. I mean, I didn’t. But you totally should.

Granted the kids still have Cheerios and normal bagels, and I’m totally suspicious that my husband shoves as much gluten into his gullet every day at lunch, but other than those exceptions we’re kinda’ a gluten-free household. So I decided to sit them down and let them know I feel their pain, and what is that pain, exactly? It turns out, I’m cramping everyone’s restaurant dining style. Continue reading

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Gluten-Free New Year’s Resolutions

Happy New Year's, Bitches.

Happy New Year’s, Bitches.

It’s that time ladies and gents. Time to evaluate our personal failures of the year before and vow to do better in the fresh, new, one. I’ve got plenty, but instead of confessing every last oopsie to you fine people, I’m just going to focus on three areas of improvement for this celiac. Well, that’s three plus one huge one that is TBA. Yes, that is a cliff-hanger! Stay tuned.

In the meantime, here are my three gluten-free new year’s resolutions. Continue reading

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Jennifer Esposito, the Celiac Mafia Has Got Your Back

I just started a mafia! Who wants to join? I’m not sure if I’ll be getting into drugs or just stick with guns, but regardless it’s totally going to be gluten-free. First target: Those jerks who are making fellow celiac, Jennifer Esposito, lose her shit.

I’m not 100% clear on what the issue is, but it sounds like Esposito is in need of some consideration for her medical condition on the set of “Blue Bloods” on CBS. I also don’t know given the language and “official” statements if Esposito was forced out, or if she left on her own. Regardless, she’s saying it is the former and here’s her tweet on all of this noise: Continue reading

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