Here’s the thing. I don’t even like ketchup. Plus, ketchup is (most of the time) totally gluten-free. So why, pray tell, did I decide it was a good idea to make up some ketchup in my own home? Sterilizing the jars, spending hours slaving over something that you can buy pretty cheaply at the store. Something that I don’t even like to eat.
You know when you have kids, and they start doing things like making suggestions that seem wise beyond their years, one can cave. Which is what happened when my daughter pointed out we had all of these gorgeous fresh tomatoes from our CSA, but we probably wouldn’t eat them before they went bad. Hey, she said, why not make ketchup? Why not, indeed, I said.
Here’s why not. Ketchup making is laborious, and not so satisfying. Still, I made ketchup, bitches! Here’s how.
Two of those things are totally not true. But one is. I’m writing a book, ya’ll! Excuse me, I get excited and my Okie comes out. Gluten Is My Bitch, the book, will hit shelves in May of 2013 published by Abrams. Which I’m STOKED about. Thanks to my lovely agent at Stonesong, and my adorable friend at Cooking With My Kid who made the intro. Let’s give a shout-out to Alison and Rebecca. Can I get a wha-what?
So I’m going to be busy writing and maybe cursing. Okay, totally cursing.
This also means that I’m madly developing recipes that will be book exclusives, so you won’t be seeing them here. I’m totally sorry, as I’ve tapped my family cookbook which is filled with Southern and Cajun delights. Yep, lots of yumness that would give Paula Deen diabetes all over again. So you can look forward to that when you buy the book next May. Which you’re absolutely going to do, right?
But it’s not all food to kill. I’ll also explore being gluten-free and vegan, for you healthy types (but only a little, I do have a reputation to maintain), and of course gluten-free kid food. ‘Cuz having a gluten-free kid is a major drag. My kid won’t eat french fries and that bums me out. You folks watching your kid’s gluten intake are heroes. I’ll give you a hand! And of course there will be the complaining. So get ready.
In the meantime, let’s play “guess the gluten-free food” with this randomness: Continue reading
When I first went g-free I remember someone telling me to try non-Western food. After all, we’re the ones who seem to have an obsession with battered food covered in gravy. Or perhaps that’s just me. But after diving into sushi and later learning that soy sauce was actually chock-full of wheat, I became wary of eating anything that I did not know how to prepare myself. This is, of course, a bummer.
Other than one super easy dish (thanks Debbie Koenig!) I haven’t even attempted to make Indian food. But after taking a chance on ordering out this weekend, and realizing what the freak I’ve been missing, I’m now committed to learning how to make this stuff. This delicious, spicy, luscious, stuff. Or rather, my husband has promised to give it a shot. Same thing? Continue reading
Get ready, you guys. This weekend we have the Kentucky Derby and Cinco De Mayo. So many ways to get your party on, all in one short weekend. While you may prefer to run the horses, I prefer to stuff myself with Mexican food. This is true, of course, on any given weekend. And luckily, so much in the Mexican food oeuvre is naturally gluten-free, so there’s that.
I’ve never, however, made tostadas before so this was a good frying time. Other than cooking up your corn tortillas, and turning pintos into refried, the most work in this recipe comes from making a lovely spicy sauce for the chicken. But even that is pretty simple, as you chop up these vegetables –
Roast them, puree them, and voila! Or ¡presente — which seems more appropriate.
So you throw all of this stuff together, top it with your favorite accoutrements (I know, some of you hate cilantro, so ditch it and pretend I never mentioned it) and you’ve got a delicious celebration in your mouth. This is how good these tostadas are: My daughter stopped mid-bite to demand a show of hands, “Who thinks mommy is the best cook in the world?” Let the record show that no hands remained in laps. That’s right, people.
Here’s how you can get people to raise hands over the deliciousness of your cooking!
Happy Cinco de Mayo, ya’ll.
Dirty dishes, I'm done with you.
For those of you who may not search for every single tax write-off in America, you may not be aware that gluten-free food is tax-deductible once you’ve got that handy-dandy celiac disease diagnosis. Even if you didn’t realize this, there’s no way you weren’t aware that your bank account started dwindling the second you started adding quinoa flour to your grocery list. My point being, eating gluten-free has other side effects besides that whole, “Hey! I don’t feel like I’m dying anymore!” thing. 1) You’ll be poor, and 2) You’ll be doing dishes all the goddamn time.
I, for one, am way over the never-ending pile of dishes in my house. I mean, we used to live in a house with no dishwasher and we never had stacks like this. Also, does anyone else have a dishwasher that runs for three hours? What the hell is that about? This dishwasher is supposedly fancy.
What’s so fancy about draining all of the water out of our house for half a day? Dishwasher, you’re a jerk.
If you’re reading this blog, you know that I do cook a lot. But if you’re dealing with eating gluten-free, you know that you have to cook a lot or simply drive through In ‘N’ Out and order The Flying Dutchman every night of the week. Don’t think I’m not contemplating that awesome idea.
The result is, tons of dishes everywhere I turn. Yes, I’m complaining about doing the dishes. What’s next, my whites aren’t so white? Continue reading
Does anyone remember the great baked potato restaurant craze of the 1980s? My mom and I would hit One Potato, Two Potato in Stillwater every chance we got. Because what’s better than a baked potato loaded up with whatever toppings you desire? Not much. It got all of our “dining out” money until the TCBY rolled into town, and then we were onto declaring, “No, it can’t be yogurt. It can’t!” But you know what? It totally was.
I was reminded of those halcyon days of potatoes and froyo last week when my husband and I came home from work completely stymied about what to eat for dinner. This happens about
five times a week once a week, and back in the good old gluten-eating days, that meant one of us would pick up dinner or the phone. No more with the dietary restrictions and the draining of our food budget since I’m shelling out for all of this gluten-free food. When this went down last week, I did something I usually never do: I stopped complaining for a minute and tore my kitchen cabinets apart.
Thanks to my CSA box, and my ample supply of quinoa, we had kind of an amazing gluten-free dinner that (with the exception of that delicious cheese) was also totally healthy! We used low-fat sour cream, if you’re looking at that picture and totally judging us, you judgey mcjudgertons. But if you remove the sour cream and cheese, you’ll have a dairy-free, gluten-free, pile of yum. But me, I don’t truly believe I’ve had a meal unless I’ve eaten cheese.
This Valentine’s Day dinner, my friends, will get you laid by a celiac. Who am I kidding? A gluten-free doughnut will get you laid by a celiac, but it’s Valentine’s Day and you should totally make the extra effort. Also, never take a celiac out to dinner on Valentine’s Day to a place s/he’s never been before. You know, in case of the gluten’ing.
But if you have a special person in your life who is tired of seeing delicious short ribs on every farm-to-table/gastro-pub/pretend “diner” that’s actually fancy-pants, in the neighborhood, and never being able to order them. Because most people put soy sauce in the delicious glaze, or coat the ribs in flour before cooking. Let me tell you right now, I’m not going to do that craziness.
So head out to your butcher, pick up some ‘taters, and don’t forget like maybe some kale because it’s wicked good for you. Here’s your gluten-free Valentine’s Day menu for luv-ahs. Continue reading
You mean, this isn't awesome?
Once you’ve gone on the gluten-free diet, there’s a window where you can still remember what real bread products taste like. I wasn’t sure what that window was, exactly, but now I know. For me, it’s approximately seven months after not eating gluten. Or at least that’s what my husband says, since twice in the last week I was proclaiming the deliciousness of a gluten-free product and he gave me a startled look and said, “Yeah, honey. It’s . . . great?”
Crap. I’ve lost my gluten taster. I still think that new brand of gluten-free beer was pretty okay, and I went back for seconds on the cake that he pooh-poohed. But I’m afraid he’s right: I’ve lost my ability to know what’s good and what sucks. Continue reading