Gluten-Free Chocolate Chip Muffins by the GF Kid

So here’s an unexpected bonus from that whole celiac thing running in families. My daughter has decided she’s going to be a master gluten-free baker/bakstress. So we had a rollicking weekend filled with experimental gluten-free baking, mixing, and general “adding pink food coloring to milkshakes” in hope of finding her signature baked good.

These gluten-free chocolate chip muffins are not it.

They are, however, super easy to make and she learned the importance of reading through a recipe.

Yep, that’s a Thomas Train tattoo. She’s a lil’ bad ass.

Still, these muffins were great right out of the oven, but they suffered that gluten-free fate that so many gf baked goods do: a day later they’re bleh. These banana chocolate chip muffins had a much longer shelf life. As did this gluten-free mix of chocolate chocolate chip muffins.

So if you need a quick muffin fix, you can take this recipe and add in the fruits, nuts, and sweets of your choice. Or if you need a basic recipe to practice on if you’re a 7-year-old celiac, this is your go-to.

Lessons in Gluten-Free Meringues

Well, hello cookie! Which is what I said to these meringues after they hung out in my oven for 6 hours. That’s a long time, guys. And why I now respect people who make these naturally gluten-free sugar and egg white delights. Because even though these are light, fluffy, delicious, and decorated appropriately for St. Patrick’s Day, or Easter if you want to throw in some other pastels, there are a few tricks here to make your gluten-free meringues much better.

1. Use super fine sugar, white sugar. I’m more of an ‘organic chunky’ kind of sugar haver, so that’s why my meringues do not look nearly as smooth as the ones you find in those French pâtisseries.

2. Be patient. Not my strong suit, especially when I was ready to bake a potato for dinner. Your oven has to warm up then stay closed for at least six hours. Plan accordingly.

3. Have fun. I did the green color in honor of the day I made them, but you can also add in chocolate chips, nuts, or a variety of colors.

Here’s how to whip up this sugary gf cookie like you’re a Frenchie. Except those found in the Paris are like, as big as your head. See, like this.

Crazy, huh?

Gluten-Free Bourbon Joe Brownie Cake

Bourbon Joe sounds like your friend, doesn’t he? Someone who meets you at the bar and says, “Take a load off, honey! What can I get ya’?” In this case, however, Bourbon Joe is a name I made up for some freaking delicious gluten-free brownies, that actually seem to be more like gluten-free cake. Probably because I only had a 12″ square pan, but still, oh man, YUM. I don’t care what you call them, they are rad.

Sometimes I feel bad when I make treats that the kids can’t have. Then I totally don’t because those little whippersnappers can eat all the gluten they want at birthday parties and wherever they go to get their cupcake on.  Also, I’m wondering if you cook alcohol, is it still a thing? Like maybe I’m keeping it away from my kids and I don’t even have to. Still, more for gluten-free me!

So yes, this brownie cake has coffee and bourbon on the inside, which makes them un-freaking-believable. I adapted this from an Irish Coffee brownie recipe, and changed it when I realized they meant Irish whiskey, not Bailey’s Irish Cream. Der.  All I had in the whiskey family was bourbon, and it totally worked. ‘Cuz bourbon rules.

Make a pan of these delish bourbon and coffee flavored brownies/cake—I mean, they call it brownies, but it looks like cake, so . . . — and hoard them. You deserve it. Yes, you do!

Gluten-Free Peanut Butter Oreo Cupcakes

This is what happens when you see something on Pinterst you want right now, and then try to create it with gluten-free baking supplies already in your cupboard. Really, I should stay from Pinterest. Still, I thought these would make great Valentine’s treats for the kids and when they learned there were Oreos inside a cupcake and peanut butter, well, they weren’t very concerned with how pretty they were, or were not. Also, there wasn’t exactly a recipe on this pin, so I harkened back to my most favorite peanut butter buckeyes, and instead of just using peanut butter slathered on the gluten-free Oreos (Or K-Toos, as they are actually called), I did a mix with butter, sugars, and vanilla. YUM. Check it. Here’s the other thing that is highly suspicious in this pin, these Oreos are stacked two per brownie cake. My gluten-free versions are even smaller than the regular Oreos, but I had a feeling when I stacked them inside my cupcake pan that one would be way better than two. I was totally right about that. Check this. Watch out for that Franken-cupcake, people. That is not cute. Now sure I used cupcake batter instead of brownie mix, and sure I might have poured too much in fear of it not covering my faux-reo, and sure I’m not the world’s most craftiest gal. Still. That cupcake looks like a crazy boob!!!!

And this is why I am convinced Pinterest is a lie! A great big, huge, adorable, delicious lie. Still, you can try this with a gluten-free brownie mix, my peanut butter mixture, and faux-Oreos. Do let me know if yours turn out better than mine.

Gluten-Free Blintzes for Hanukkah Fun

Or however you choose to spell it. Regardless, it’s time to celebrate a military victory of epic proportions followed by the miracle of the oil lasting eight nights instead of one. I believe. Perhaps I should ponder upon how vague my knowledge of the Jewish holidays are while I spend hours at the stove making gluten-free blintzes. Or as my people call them, crêpes. Care to join me? The sweet treat after your brisket and kugel, my instinct is to throw powdered sugar all over these beauties. Apparently that’s not the Hanukkah way, so grab some berries, jam, or the like. Personally, I think fresh, healthy, fruit ruins a great dessert but I can roll. I spent this summer perfecting the gluten-free crêpe, (and what did you do with your time? hmmmm?) so let me give you a few tips on making these delicate pancakes:

• Don’t have a cocktail before you start making the crêpes. Trust me on this one.
• Be prepared to spend a heck of a lot of time at the stove when you undertake this delicious recipe. It seems simple, but you’ve gotta’ concentrate and stay at your post.
• Give your batter a mix several times during the process. The gluten-free flour can settle, and cause your crêpes to be too thin to flip.
• Use a large round spatula if you don’t have a pan you can flip easily, for easier turning.
• Even if you mess up half of your batter, there’s SO MUCH MORE. Surely you can make at least one perfectly, so don’t give up.

Eat up, revelers!

Be a Rad Gluten-Free Party Guest, Why Don’t Ya’?

When I go to a party I try to bring amazoids gluten-free snacks and leave my piss poor attitude at home. After all, I’m a fun gal. Are you heading out to a shingdig this weekend? A par-tay? A good time? I certainly hope you are, but even if you aren’t, you will require snacks in the next few days, right?

Just last weekend I was invited to a birthday party that involved a Family Feud tournament and cleverly named cocktails (Regis Phil-Gin & Tonic, anyone?) and I came armed with food to soak up the gluten-free booze I was about to consume. But the goal is not only to have porous snacks in your gut, but to also impress others with gluten-free deliciousness. Which is why I busted out my gluten-free peanut butter pretzel buckeyes and my all-time favorite lemon ricotta basil cheese dip with the best damn gluten-free bagel chips you’ll ever eat. In fact, I’ll even go out on a limb and declare gluten-free bagel chips better than those gluten-filled types.

That’s right, I said it.

Here’s what you should shovel onto those bchips.

Gluten-Free Chocolate Peanut Butter Balls Without Salmonella

I’m confused about coconut. On the one hand, I hear that eating coconut could you give you heart disease, on the other hand I hear it’s a paleo dream that will allow you to live until 110 while doing push-ups on the beach. It’s possible I heard both of these scenarios wrong.

Regardless, it seemed like a good idea to try out a version of this better-for-you copycat recipe of Reese’s Easter Eggs, except I just made Reese’s-like balls because it’s not Easter. Also, I could put this guy to work.

Kind of a weird hybrid of good for you and totally bad for you, these chocolate peanut butter balls are 100% delicious. I want to eat all six of them in one sitting. Oh right, that’s the only problem: It only makes six. You can double or triple the recipe because your roommates, family, or whomever you shack up with will also want these and you’re not going to be able to share.

You may be scared of peanut butter right now, and I swear there’s enough salmonella in nut butters to last us through the new year. Check this list, then go out and buy you some non-poisonous peanut butter to make these fantastic balls. I mean, fantastic. Balls.

Sorry About This Gluten-Free Cinnamon Roll Cake

Start your apology engines, folks because we’re upon the highest holiday of the Jewish new year. Or something. All I know is I’ve got to say I’m sorry about a few things, and I’ll start with this gluten-free cinnamon roll cake. You see, I saw this beautiful picture on Pinterest, the temptress, and decided I had to g-free this bad boy. Sure it’s a lot like my honeybun cake. The fact is, I love taking a delicious pastry and making it into an entire cake. Who doesn’t?

Only last night when I was pulling it together I was crazy distracted and wound up putting in two tablespoons of vanilla instead of two teaspoons, then I tried to add some more gf flour, and well, it’s now a doughy mess. I also used all of the vanilla in my over-pour so my icing was lame as well. So instead of presenting you with an amazing recipe, all I’ve got today is a “Well, you should try this because I don’t have time to do it two more times because I’ve got a book to write, dammit!”

I’m sorry.

While I’m at it I’m going to go ahead and apologize to my sister-in-law and her brand new husband for dinner tonight as I also spaced on buying a few ingredients, so it’s substitution time! I’m sorry about what you’ll be eating this evening.

And to you dear readers, I realize I owe you a few apologies as well.

I’m sorry I tried to pass off a salad as a meal.

I’m sorry I couldn’t figure out how to make a decent gluten-free challah.

I’m sorry if I encouraged anyone to drink Corona.

I’m sorry I suggested you take dairy and sugar out of your diet.

I’m also sorry about the gluten-free deep fried Kool-Aid. That’s totally not okay.

So glad I got that off my chest. Now, let’s see if you can make a delicious cake, because as of right now, I totally cannot.

Making Gluten-Free Awesome Out of Guten-Free Meh

Why yes, those bars are gluten-free peanut butter rice krispie treat-like with chocolate chips on top! Which is what I had to do to camouflage some puffed rice cereal that was just not cutting it. I’ll save the “Why do normal Rice Krispies have to be made with barley malt?” discussion for another day, as there are tons of gluten-free puffed rice options out there. It’s just that none of them are very good.

So I’m wondering why I brought these all the way back from Paris -

when I knew they also were barely so-so. I think it was that bug making the crazy eyes at me.

But this is why god made rice krispie treats and had the good sense to add a peanut butter option, people. To dress up the boring! Which is exactly what I did in like five minutes last night. Five minutes at night = a weekend worth of deliciousness. That’s what I call max efficiency. And ohmylord, the smell of peanut butter and marshmallow is intoxicating. Or I just need to get out more. And no, I was not satisfied with only the peanut butter and instead threw some chocolate atop. That’s how flavorless those Riz things were.

You can do it too!

Gluten-Free Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Bars of Yum

I know it may seem like I’ve been a bit obsessed with bar-like desserts lately. It’s true. And as of right now, I don’t see a problem with whipping up brownies, cookie bars, cake bars, candy bars, bar bars, at all. Sometimes when you’re gluten-free you’ve got to go the path of least resistance and ditch trying to make a perfect pie crust and layer cake. Make a freaking bar, people, and enjoy your weekend.

I found this recipe on Heat Oven to 350, which seems like a genius name for a blog. Can you say SEO? The beautiful thin cookie bar they have pictured was rejected in favor of a fat cookie brownie type thing at my house. Because we don’t discriminate against the chubby, that’s why.

While I will say eating these gluten-free chocolate chip cheesecake bars was the best part of the process (I mean, duh), making these little cookie discs to sit atop the bar was also fun.

See? It’s like spaceships. Or poops.

Eat it!