Gluten-Free Madras Lentils & Green Rice in 5 Minutes or Less

You ever have one of those days when you’re like “‘eff you, and ‘eff that, and ‘eff that other thing”? Then you drive two-and-a-half hours home in horrible traffic and you’re like “I have to make ‘effing dinner? ‘Eff that too.” That’s where your Tasty Bite comes into play and saves your evening.

Normally I’m more of a make it from scratch kind of gal, but this whole commuting in LA thing has made me look much more fondly upon the packages at the store. Hence, my frozen brown rice from Trader Joe’s I dressed up to make “green” and my willingness to taste test some Indian food from the Tasty Bite people who sent me a whole box of yumness.

I admit I was not familiar with the Tasty Bite, but after reading a bit it seems like they’re all for the farm fresh, no BPA in packaging, carefully marking and creating the gluten-free, treating their employees right, and general goodness. The Madras Lentils that took all of one minute to heat up was certainly delicious, and I have to say I’m really looking forward to checking out the Satay Partay package, as I’m always ready for both a satay and a partay at any given moment. So thanks TBs, for the grub! As well as the ability to eat in five minutes so I could finally catch up on Game of Thrones.

Here’s how you do that quick green rice situation:

‘Mad Men’ Meal for the Gluten-Free

You know you’re all into the mid-century ad business/out of wedlock sex/Roger’s Thesaurus happening on your basic cable, the AMC. In case you missed it last week, Mad Men came back and those clothes and hairstyles are getting wacky! Yep, times are changing for the crew at Sterling, Cooper, Draper, and Pryce (is it still Pryce? Unclear), and whatever Joan’s last name is. Since Don remains the same, the way we should eat and drink while enjoying watching that guy implode should remain firmly in that era as well.

Gluten-Free Los Angeles: Black Market Liquor Bar + Celebrities

You guys, I had no idea how totally cool I was. Let me walk that back a minute. I had no idea how totally cool I was if say, being cool was measured by how many middle-aged celebrities you dine with in one night. Anyone have a metric on that? No? Well, let me just tell you that the hubs and I went out to dinner last weekend and made two fascinating discoveries: When we go out at normal dinner time to one of our favorite neighborhood’ish joints, CELEBRITIES ARE THERE; and the manager of said MIDDLE AGE CELEBRITY HANG OUT has celiac. If that’s not a win, I can’t help you.

So we rolled up to Black Market Liquor Bar in our Altima, valet’d, took a seat at the tall tables (which I totally hate, and was a bit resentful until I realized we didn’t have a reservation and Ducky was occupying the normal table next to me. Love Ducky. Would have been the weird girl to hook up with Ducky at the prom. #duh) and went on to throw back the whiskey drinks. Which are inventive, and crazy good, as well as being gluten-free. Although one whiskey drink has a beer factor (which is clearly marked on the menu) so skip that action.

Of course once it came time to order I was looking over the seasonal menu of artisanal cheeses and ahi tuna, and started to sweat it a little bit as it appeared that gluten was on the side of most dishes. Yes, we did consider leaving even after we noticed that guy from “Wings” embracing Will from “Will & Grace” but wow, am I glad I stayed put and asked the waiter about the gluten-free options available. That dude came back with this –

Oh, Hell It’s a Gluten-Free Diet Cleanse Situation: Week 1

I realize it’s the part of January where everyone gives up on those New Year’s Day resolutions, which is why I’m getting started. That way, when I fail I’ll be all, “You guys didn’t even last this long, suckers!” So here’s the deal. Erika, a lovely gluten-free fitness coach, contacted me about getting my gluten-free butt in gear. Yes, there is such a thing as a gluten-free fitness coach and now all of you people who indulge in gluten are jealous.

It’s possible this news is shocking to all of you who have been enjoying my wild ride through the sugars of the world. But the fact is eating deep-fried goodness is not so good for your gluten-free fat ass. Additionally I’m about to do this whole book promotion thing and am hardcore angling for my gluten-free story to be told as a Lifetime movie. So maybe getting in shape, and stopping my daily diet of dairy, sugar, and more of that is the way to go. This is the plan (and you can follow along too, my masochist friends!). First, I’m doing this crazy detox/cleanse/reset situation. Then, Erika is going to make me exercise or something. I think it will work.

Let’s talk about the new diet!

Erika is also on the cleanse/restart/vegan train through the Beachbody Ultimate Reset (anyone who knows me is laughing heartily right about now) and asked if I would go along for the ride. She’s also quite foul-mouthed so we’re getting along perfectly. Here’s the thing about this situation: There is some fantastic food on this reset. Sure you have to prepare three meals a day and perfectly time your mineral supplements, but I’m pretty sure all of that organization is perfectly designed to keep you from realizing you’re not eating cheeseburgers. Oh, and you also cut out coffee and booze. So far, it’s not too bad, and kind of good. This is the awesomeness I’m eating.

Gluten-Free Kale Quiche For Healthy New Year Eats!

Yum, yum, yum, yum. Is what I said when I ate way too much of this gluten-free crustless kale quiche that I whipped up for the first week of 2013. Which is why it only lasted two days, instead of the intended four to five lunches. Believe me, I thought I’d have plenty of will power to resist kale, yet . . . Okay, it’s the crème fraîche inside this bad boy. Which is my advice to all of you who are trying to put more kale into your 2013 diet:  Just drown it in dairy. Done and done.

I found this delicious recipe after I started following Hot Dishes for Hot Bitches on Facebook. Because of course I did. I’m not sure what these hot bitches do in their spare time besides find amazing recipes, because they throw about a million of them out to you every day if you’re in that club. You should check it out, because stuff is GOOD. Sure there healthier things to do with your kale. But there are also much more fattening ways to make a gluten-free quiche. I’m calling it a draw and making another one this weekend.

You can too!

My New Most Favorite Gluten-Free Pasta Recipe

For those of you who are in the angry anti-pasta stage of your gluten-free lifestyle (oh, you didn’t know that was a thing? It totally is), I have something that just might lure you back to the world of gf pasta goodness. Or, if you’re happy cursing fusilli, be my guest. Seriously, it feels good to take out your anger on sub par pasta. It really does.

But if you’re ready to give noodles another chance, may I recommend this frankenrecipe I created from a yummy penne number from America’s Test Kitchen, and another particularly compelling post I read about white beans? I may? Why, thank you!

I’ve kind of given up on the hardcore red sauce pastas I used to make. Which is sad, but since I was diagnosed in the middle of an intense “Grandma’s Italian Kitchen” cooking phase of my life, I still associate that huge pot of bubbling Sunday sauce with massive stomach pain. Not unlike my reaction to Bacardi, I just steer clear due to the epic-ly negative association.

But just because you skip the intense red sauce, does not mean you should deny flavor atop your pasta. Adding red pepper flakes is always a win, and getting your white beans and broccoli all crunchy can be incredibly satisfying. Especially to a gluten-free person, who has lost all sense of “crunch” along with her sense of “good beer.”

What I’m trying to say, is this is the best damn pasta recipe outside of Brooklyn. It just happens to be gluten-free. Eat it!

Easy Gluten-Free & Vegetarian Dinner: Quinoa Chili Stuffed Red Potato

Does anyone remember the great baked potato restaurant craze of the 1980s? My mom and I would hit One Potato, Two Potato in Stillwater every chance we got. Because what’s better than a baked potato loaded up with whatever toppings you desire? Not much. It got all of our “dining out” money until the TCBY rolled into town, and then we were onto declaring, “No, it can’t be yogurt. It can’t!” But you know what? It totally was.

I was reminded of those halcyon days of potatoes and froyo last week when my husband and I came home from work completely stymied about what to eat for dinner. This happens about five times a week once a week, and back in the good old gluten-eating days, that meant one of us would pick up dinner or the phone. No more with the dietary restrictions and the draining of our food budget since I’m shelling out for all of this gluten-free food. When this went down last week, I did something I usually never do: I stopped complaining for a minute and tore my kitchen cabinets apart.

Thanks to my CSA box, and my ample supply of quinoa, we had kind of an amazing gluten-free dinner that (with the exception of that delicious cheese) was also totally healthy! We used low-fat sour cream, if you’re looking at that picture and totally judging us, you judgey mcjudgertons. But if you remove the sour cream and cheese, you’ll have a dairy-free, gluten-free, pile of yum. But me, I don’t truly believe I’ve had a meal unless I’ve eaten cheese.

Gluten-Free Quick Meatloaf Using ’4 Ingredients’

Welcome to the most helpful post you’ll ever read as a newly gluten-free human. Well, other than this one, and maybe this one also. But if you, like me, started to freak out a little bit when you viewed the rows of gluten-free flours and complicated blends to make the perfect cake, sans gluten, then 4 Ingredients Gluten-Free is going to make you cry gluten-free tears of relief.

This should be obvious by the title, but just in case clarity is in order, these ladies created a cookbook where every single recipe uses four ingredients or less, and now they’ve gone g-free. Simply the easiest gluten-free cookbook you’ll ever come across. So easy, in fact, my daughter made gluten-free meatloaf last night all by herself. (She also insisted that I let you all know that she had NO assistance from me. She’s prideful like that.)

Sure I like to bust out the stand mixer and kitchen shears from time to time, but I can’t do that kind of cooking every day. And if you can, I hate you. So having a cookbook handy that makes dinner redonkulously easy, makes me incredibly excited. See?

Because all you need to do for this gluten-free meatloaf recipe is mix together eggs, ground sirloin, gluten-free bread crumbs, and tomato paste. And any 6-year-old can handle that process. Although my girl did decide to add two extra ingredients; salt and pepper. For some reason my kids have been stoked to put salt and pepper on every plate of food that comes out in front of them. I think it’s the pepper grinder, which is a lot of fun if you think about it.

Anyhoo! Fast, easy, and totally gluten-free. And you guys — there are 400 more recipes in 4 Ingredients Gluten-Free you can also whip up in no time. Everything from Tandoori Lamb to Pears in Coffee Syrup. Which you know you’re going to get to, right after you eat up all your meatloaf.

Cheater’s Chana Masala Is Gluten-Free (Because GF ‘Parents Need to Eat Too’)

Debbie Koenig knows that parents need to eat too, even if you’re stuck in the middle of a spit-up and poop explosion (hopefully not yours). Debbie Koenig taught me how to make Indian food, and I’m going to show you how too. Debbie Koenig is also an awesome dining partner when you’re in Atlanta and are trying to find a restaurant to make a bunch of food bloggers happy, one of which is a pain-in-the-ass newly diagnosed Celiac.  Debbie Koenig tips well, and leaves nice notes around the house. (Okay, I don’t know about that last one.) All of this is to say, I am super stoked to have a copy of her new cookbook, and life book, Parents Need to Eat Too. I mean, look at this awesomeness -

(A note: This is not Debbie in the photo. Debbie is much cuter.)

So I’m joining this blog party that is to help you — the new cook, the old cook, the new mom, the new dad, the exhausted old mom/dad — figure out how to grocery shop, stock your pantry, and whip up delicious, healthy dinners while still keeping your shit together. The trick to all of this is buying Parents Need to Eat Too, and reading it from cover to cover.  And anyone who orders before February 21 receives a free Digital Starter Kit including bonus recipes, a gift card, and MUCH MORE! (Their words, but I’m excited too.)

After receiving my own copy of this super duper guide, I decided to make what I assumed to be the most difficult dish in her entire arsenal: Cheater’s Chana Masala. I say this, as a native Oklahoman who did not know what Indian food was until I moved to New York City. As a part Native American Indian gal, I just thought Indian food meant “maize.” Needless to say, I impressed myself, and my husband, by whipping up this delicious, naturally gluten-free, dish in no time. Cheater’s Chana Masala is the BOMB. Gf, or not gf. But it’s totally gf, or I’d be complaining that; Debbie Koenig really wants to poison me.

Here’s how you too can buy Parents Need to Eat Too, and make your own masala.

Gluten-Free Valentine’s Day Dinner: Braised Short Ribs & Twice Baked Potatoes

This Valentine’s Day dinner, my friends, will get you laid by a celiac. Who am I kidding? A gluten-free doughnut will get you laid by a celiac, but it’s Valentine’s Day and you should totally make the extra effort. Also, never take a celiac out to dinner on Valentine’s Day to a place s/he’s never been before. You know, in case of the gluten’ing.

But if you have a special person in your life who is tired of seeing delicious short ribs on every farm-to-table/gastro-pub/pretend “diner” that’s actually fancy-pants, in the neighborhood, and never being able to order them. Because most people put soy sauce in the delicious glaze, or coat the ribs in flour before cooking. Let me tell you right now, I’m not going to do that craziness.

So head out to your butcher, pick up some ‘taters, and don’t forget like maybe some kale because it’s wicked good for you. Here’s your gluten-free Valentine’s Day menu for luv-ahs.