Listen up, bitches
Perhaps you’ve noticed a lack of the bitching about gluten this week. That would be because my bitching hole has been busy getting rid of anything that might exist inside my stomach. Yep, stomach flu, or maybe some food poisoning, or maybe just some, “You know I hate you, right?” from my evil intestines. But here’s the thing. Getting a stomach ailment when you already have celiac, or any type of allergy or intolerance, is total bullshit. Which is why that is rule number one.
Gluten-Free Rule #1: No stomach illnesses allowed (outside of the already debilitating gluten-activated variety) Continue reading
Before going gluten-free I might have gotten really excited about ripping off say, Outback Steakhouse’s Bloomin’ Onion recipe. But now I’ve got to de-wheat everything and quite frankly, these healthy food spots are some of the few places that get it 100% right. When Cafe Gratitude landed in my neighborhood I truly thought it was a gift from god. I would walk around the corner and fill up on I Am Fortified, and I Am Transformed until my inner punk rocker screamed, “Enough!” And then I moved*. Which means, of course, I’ve got to make do with my own gluten-free, vegan, cooking. So bring on the greens and grains, ya’ll!
This is the hardest part of this recipe, cooking the kale, which means it’s really not very hard at all.
I know. It’s no deep-fried Kool-Aid, and I mourn that fact. And I’ll be making up for eating a ton of this healthy dish later this week when I make gluten-free Rice Krispie treats. But for now, if you’re looking for some healthy gf goodness, look no further. As clearly I’m not the only blogger obsessed with Cafe Gratitude bowls of hippie. Continue reading
Yowza! That’s some decadent dinner. But I’m all about trying to figure out how to recreate my favorite, really bad for you foods sans gluten. It was only a matter of time before I busted out a macaroni and cheese recipe that makes it worth skipping the boxed varieties. And even Oprah* agrees, this mac and cheese recipe is the absolute best. And you know what goes so well with mac and cheese? Chicken fingers. So gird your arteries, celiacs, you’re going to want to make this three-cheese dish worthy of the Queen of Talk and serve it up with a side of gluten-free chicken fingers. Duh. Continue reading
Ladies Who Lunch (GF- & Vegan-style)
But not today.
Happy Memorial Day everybody! Hopefully you had some burgers alongside your gratitude for our nation’s men and women of the military. I did consider skipping the beef in honor of my awesome cooking class I took this weekend with the sisters of Spork. But I’m a weak woman. I’m just getting the hang of giving up gluten, anything else might put me over the edge. The edge of what, you may ask? The edge of darkness, my friends. That edge.
But let me tell you what I learned at Spork, alongside my sister-in-law, Amy, who was kind enough to use her birthday gift to learn more about cooking gluten-free. Yes, she is rad. Continue reading
As we dined out last night, and I fretted yet again that the waitress would spat in our appetizers of Brussels sprouts and brie (not mixed together, two separate apps, cuz’ that would be gross), I thought to myself: You don’t deserve this. You, who delight equally in chowing down at Jeane-Georges and on my homemade chicken fried steak. You who wined and dined me during our courtship and taught me the ways of the outer borough dive bars/edgy pub food. Who convinced me to travel to a hot, dry, soccer field in Red Hook for tacos. To the man who was my partner in eating our way through the five boroughs of New York (well, not Staten Island, never Staten Island).
I’m sorry. Continue reading
GF, You Saucy Minx
Watch out, Gwyneth, you’ve got some g-free competition in the celeb world! There’s so much celebrity gluten in the news this week, that I’m starting to think I’m fashionable. Who knew getting a debilitating disease would be so dang popular? Well, it is. If not disgusting.
Elisabeth Hasselbeck may be a conservative, freedom-hating, obnoxious talk show host, but she’s also a fellow celiac so I’ve got to appreciate the awareness this lady brings to the cause. Today on The View she had famous chefs whip up gluten-free gourmet dishes. I wonder how I can get these people to come hang out in my house. (By the way, who dresses Whoopi Goldberg? Love her, but my god that woman needs a fashion intervention.)
But even more interestingly, apparently the French Open is about to be dominated by Novak Djokovic thanks to his gluten-free diet. Apparently he’s on a major winning streak, and it’s all thanks to his taking control of his gluten allergy (note, this is not the same as celiac disease).
Excuse me as GIMB gets ready for its close-up.
But oh no! It looks like they’re actually testing a celiac disease vaccine! Not yet, cure for my disease, I haven’t had my 15 minutes of fame.
Image via JMacPherson/Flickr
While I wouldn’t be caught dead calling myself a “foodie,” I will say one of my favorite activities is dining out. Or just dining. I’m a huge fan of the food, and especially love trying new things, checking out the hottest new restaurant, food truck, or pancake supper. So yes, this celiac thing has been a HUGE drag. One of the biggest drawbacks? No more Chinese food.
Unfortunately soy sauce has gluten. While I do have my own wheat-free tamari at my house, that’s not what most kitchens use when they’re wok-ing it up. So basically I’ll never be able to eat Chinese food out again. Which is why this recipe for General Chang’s Chicken from my new favorite cookbook, Artisanal Gluten-Free Cooking (The Experiment, 2009) has rocked my world. Their recipe for pulled bbq pork is in heavy rotation at my house as well.
The recipe combines my Chinese jones with my fried chicken one, and I feel like a superstar after having whipped up this crunchy, sweet and sour delight. With the author’s permission, I’m re-printing the rad recipe. And with my husband’s permission, I’m printing a photo of him chowing down. Doesn’t he look happy? Continue reading
I’m loving this GF band wagon that’s happening all about the food biz. Kellogg’s Rice Krispies just announced that by this summer, they will offer a lovely gluten-free version of the crispy rice cereal, that seriously, should have been gluten-free in the first place. It’s rice. Of course, as with most processed foods, there is sneaky gluten in the ingredients list, which make things like puffed rice suddenly dangerous to the celiac. Which honestly, really pissed me off when I found out.
I’ve tried the organic, gf versions from other brands just to recreate that snap, crackle, and pop, but one was so dry I literally had to drink some kind of liquid the second it hit my mouth. My throat is getting all c-acky just thinking about it. And while most of you may think, “Hey, what’s the big deal? Rice Krispies ain’t all that.” Let me tell you, they are. Oh, they are. Continue reading
But now we all know the Central Park eatery (I use the term loosely) employed major douchebags, as a former executive banquet chef (does that mean he really only catered, not chef’d? ahem) Damian Cardone talks about how he loved to screw over people with celiac. Or just “idiots” as he likes to call all of us.
Cardone posted the following on his Facebook page:
Gluten free is bullshit!! Flour and bread have been a staple of life for thousands, THOUSANDS of years. People who claim to be gluten intolerent [sic] dont [sic] realize that its [sic] all in there [sic] disturbed little heads. People ask me for gluten free pasta in my restaurant all the time, I tell em sure, Then I serve serve em our pasta, Which I make from scratch with high gluten flour. And you know what? nothing, NOTHING! ever happens! People leave talking about how good they feel gluten free and guess what, They just had a full dose! Idiots! Continue reading
If you’ve been given the celiac disease diagnosis, you’ve most likely gotten your hands on The Gluten-Free Bibleby Jax Peters. And if you’re like me, you thought, “Lady, there’s no way in hell I’m marching into an Italian restaurant with my own bag of gluten-free pasta and asking them to cook it for me, only AFTER they’ve cleaned the pot.”
This advice, and many other suggestions, fly in the face of my ability to enjoy an evening out at a restaurant. You see, I like to make sure everyone is comfortable — and that includes the wait staff. I never send anything back, and I always make requests with a smile. Part of it is the fact that I’m not 100% comfortable with people “serving me,” especially people who don’t make a heck of a lot of money. I also have this unnatural fear of people spitting in my food — or worse. So dining out gluten-free has been incredibly uncomfortable since I’m no Jax Peters. But I just learned my lesson, the incredibly hard way. Continue reading