Okay, more than five actual minutes. But isn’t that catchy? In reality, however, it was “gluten-free party that I should have prepared for, but had no time during the week, and was getting back from a kid birthday party, and had to also rely on the rest of the family to prep a spread.” But that is just not snappy.
The point is, if you have people coming over, and you don’t have time to cook a shit ton, and you’re also gluten-free, here are some quick tips. Not just quick tips, flipping delicious tips, because these snacks are amazing, even the ones that only require you open up a gluten-free bag of yum. You can do this. You can. Let me just lay out what’s on this counter:
When I go to a party I try to bring amazoids gluten-free snacks and leave my piss poor attitude at home. After all, I’m a fun gal. Are you heading out to a shingdig this weekend? A par-tay? A good time? I certainly hope you are, but even if you aren’t, you will require snacks in the next few days, right?
Just last weekend I was invited to a birthday party that involved a Family Feud tournament and cleverly named cocktails (Regis Phil-Gin & Tonic, anyone?) and I came armed with food to soak up the gluten-free booze I was about to consume. But the goal is not only to have porous snacks in your gut, but to also impress others with gluten-free deliciousness. Which is why I busted out my gluten-free peanut butter pretzel buckeyes and my all-time favorite lemon ricotta basil cheese dip with the best damn gluten-free bagel chips you’ll ever eat. In fact, I’ll even go out on a limb and declare gluten-free bagel chips better than those gluten-filled types.
That’s right, I said it.
Here’s what you should shovel onto those bchips. Continue reading
Meet the most adorable couple in the entire world. That’s Tonya, Paul, and Boddington. Boddington wasn’t allowed at the wedding, yet people like me — people with food issues — totally were. Doesn’t seem fair, does it?
So this was basically the most amazing gluten-free wedding of all time, aside from Chelsea Clinton’s. But I wasn’t invited to Chelsea’s, so screw that wedding. I was, however, invited to Paul and Tonya’s beautiful SoCal event by the ocean since Paul — one half of the nicest couple in the universe — works with my husband. Lucky me.
When I was first diagnosed with Celiac disease, I remember specifically being upset about the prospect of going to weddings. Previously, I was a big fan of the wedding, especially the surf and turf and cake. I knew my days of eating sugary white frosting were over, and I knew my tears at weddings would be over my own personal cake loss, rather than the beautiful union taking place.
This is the first wedding I’ve attended since the big C, and being the least important guest at said wedding (work guest’s wife should be pretty low on the totem pole, amiright?), I didn’t expect to even be able to say more than, “Congratulations” to the happy couple, one of whom I had never even met, and then be ushered to the back corner of a dark hall where I’d have to strain to hear the awkward toasts of friends and relatives. Yet, the first thing I saw when I walked into the reception at the beautiful La Venta Inn was this — Continue reading
Found it! Even for a lady who doesn’t really believe a salad is a meal, this particular gluten-free quinoa-filled salad just might satisfy all of your dinner urges. As long as those urges don’t include tacos. Which I realize is a tall order. Still, bust out your picnic table or whatever it is you do, and get ready to enjoy the salad of the year that is filled with green beans, corn, grilled chicken and goat cheese. Mmmmmmmmmmmm.
I found the basic makings of this summer-rific recipe on Epicurious, but first I had to kick out the dirty, dirty, farro. Then I realized if you’re not a meat-eating type you’re going to want to boot the chicken. You could easily substitute tofu, prepared the same way, or just skip it altogether. Make it vegan? You don’t really need that goat cheese either. I mean, I need it but you may not. Really, it’s a mix and match salad for your own needs. Next time I’m going to throw roasted almonds on top too. Oh yeah, I’m going there. Nothing can stop the amazingness of this salad. Except, obviously, a taco.
So go ahead and say yes to those potluck invites, people. This summer salad has you covered. Continue reading
This is How You Do It, People
Let me just start off by saying I understand that by being invited to a party, I’m already super lucky. Complaining about said party, is really bad form. But I’ve never claimed to have great form, so here goes. You know, party people, you don’t have to put flour in everything you put out on the buffet. You really don’t. Here’s a lovely list of options: Flourless chocolate cake, roasted vegetables, cheese trays with crackers optional, chicken satay with no flouring of the chicken parts. I could go on and on, and I will if anyone ever wants to consult me. I have a very reasonable fee.
I’ve already moaned about Wolfgang Puck and his crew, and now I’m going to moan about an American Idol party I was privileged to attend. (I know! I’m such a jerk.) Look at all this gluten: Continue reading