It’s a Pizza, It’s a Lasagna, & It’s Totally Gluten-Free

You guys, I just made something totally crazy delicious, and potentially deadly. Still, AWESOME. Because apparently I spend an unhealthy amount of time on Pinterest, I stumbled across this gem of a recipe that turns your lasagna into a three-meat pizza situation, but without the crust. It’s sick. And I mean that in the tween sense. You see, this is only the first layer -

According to the original recipe, there are three layers of this business. Since that makes five hundred tons of this gooey goodness, I cut it down a bit as there’s only so much cheese my family can digest. Also, the last time I ate three meats I got celiac, so I turned three into two. But if you want to go whole hog, please check out the original and go meat-crazy. Just make sure you’ve got your gluten-free pepperoni and sausage. I highly recommend Applegate Farms. Delish.

Because I also care about you vegetarian gluten-free types, I had this thought: Remove the pepperoni and sausage and replace with spinach and mushroom, and voila! Vegetarian heart attack on a plate. Vegans, I’m totally sorry you’re out of luck on this one because no one wants to eat this much faux cheese.

This is how you do it -

My New Most Favorite Gluten-Free Pasta Recipe

For those of you who are in the angry anti-pasta stage of your gluten-free lifestyle (oh, you didn’t know that was a thing? It totally is), I have something that just might lure you back to the world of gf pasta goodness. Or, if you’re happy cursing fusilli, be my guest. Seriously, it feels good to take out your anger on sub par pasta. It really does.

But if you’re ready to give noodles another chance, may I recommend this frankenrecipe I created from a yummy penne number from America’s Test Kitchen, and another particularly compelling post I read about white beans? I may? Why, thank you!

I’ve kind of given up on the hardcore red sauce pastas I used to make. Which is sad, but since I was diagnosed in the middle of an intense “Grandma’s Italian Kitchen” cooking phase of my life, I still associate that huge pot of bubbling Sunday sauce with massive stomach pain. Not unlike my reaction to Bacardi, I just steer clear due to the epic-ly negative association.

But just because you skip the intense red sauce, does not mean you should deny flavor atop your pasta. Adding red pepper flakes is always a win, and getting your white beans and broccoli all crunchy can be incredibly satisfying. Especially to a gluten-free person, who has lost all sense of “crunch” along with her sense of “good beer.”

What I’m trying to say, is this is the best damn pasta recipe outside of Brooklyn. It just happens to be gluten-free. Eat it!

Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free Lemon Fettucine Alfredo + Vacation Giveaway — What?!

It’s true. I totally made something that was healthy’ish. And look at that side of broccoli. Damn, that’s some healthy eating right there. When the So Delicious people asked if I’d like to throw some recipes their way, I said sure! After all, I do have an almond problem and that includes almond milk. So why not start using it wherever I can. Namely, in a creamy, dreamy gluten-free, dairy-free fettucine alfredo.

One thing I’ve been doing for awhile now is using millet flour when I make a rue. For some reason the millet does the trick. I heart millet. And instead of milk, I grabbed that So Delicious almond milk. Yum to the yum-yum. Sure it’s exciting to transform a formerly decadent meal into a g-free, d-free wonder. But you know what’s even more exciting?

Winning a freaking foodie trip to Red Mountain Resort in St. George, Utah. Yep, that’s a free trip. You can vote every day to enter this contest. Every day, you click on this link vote for me, and you’re entered to win a fab vacation.  Oh, and you get a coupon just for voting. Nice.

So how do you make this? Like so.

27,000-Hour Gluten-Free Greek Lasagna Just Might Be Worth It

Have you ever cooked up something and you were like, “Oh my god, that was so amazing. I’m never making it again.” That’s how I feel about this delicious gluten-free Greek lasagna that seriously took me HOURS to make while I kept telling my family dinner was almost ready. Yes, I lied.

I picked up this magazine called, “Light and Healthy” because you know, we’re trying to eat light and healthy between my forays into deep-frying and sugar loading. I mistakenly believed that light and healthy also meant super easy. But there’s a “light and healthy” bechamel sauce in here, gang! This is where I give you another tip: Always read the recipe in its entirety before deciding you can whip up something in half-a-Wilco-album time.

Seriously, I’m pretty sure this recipe was more difficult than childbirth, if I’d actually experienced child-birth. Which is way TMI for this gluten-free food blog. That’s why I took a picture with the goods, coming out of my oven.

I would not be surprised, however, if you found this recipe to be much more simple than I did. Perhaps, I too could have had an easier time had I not; a) Started dinner at 6pm in hopes of having it on the table by 6:30pm, and b) Not had to throw Tupperware at my children’s heads to distract them from their requests to “help” with all the chopping and sautéing. So perhaps it will only take you like, two hours to complete instead of my 27,000. Good luck with that.

Here’s how you can make a light and healthy Greek lasagna gluten-free.

Gluten-Free Pasta With Leeks & Thyme: CSA Box Recipes

If you’ve ever joined a CSA program — that’s Community Supported Agriculture for you non-hippies — you know how awesome it can be to have loads of farm fresh produce delivered to you every week. You also know how freaking challenging it can be to use all of the food before it goes bad. After all, it’s organic and local so it’s not sprayed with cancer in order to make it last longer. So you’d better make those leeks work for you, and fast. When in doubt, I say grab the gluten-free pasta and go to town. But leeks weren’t my only challenge.

Faced with this -

I can get intimidated. Those are edible flowers, you guys!

Which is probably why it was the best lesson ever when it was my turn to bring home my daughter’s school’s CSA box (in addition to our own) and create tasty meals for her class the very next day. It was like Iron Chef or Top Chef, or one of those chef shows that I don’t watch but probably should. In a matter of hours I had whipped up six awesome dishes, along with those macaroons, for kids who probably won’t even eat leeks. But guess what? All the bowls were empty when they came home. Which means the kiddos ate vegetables, or the adults allowed me to save some face by dumping out the rest. I’ll take either, really.

Here’s the first round in the CSA challenge (after the macaroons, of course).

Gluten-Free Apres Ski Near Mt. Baldy

I’m prepared for all of you Colorado types, Vermont residents, and anyone in the actual north where snow happens to totally laugh my latest trip to a ski “resort.” Because over the holiday weekend, my family and I went to Mt. Baldy in Southern California. To do snow things. Even though it was sunny and shorts weather where we live. But dammit, my family was about to get some snow time action if it killed us (or at least made us drive, like, an hour away). Even if this is what it looked like going up the mountain.

Cute, but snow-less. Which is what I always suspected when people swore that SoCal living meant “snowboarding in the morning, and surfing in the afternoon.” Show-offs. Yet, we still took the kids snow tubing. And whether it was man-made snow, or a hallucination, or a combo, it was super fun that looked like this —

Gluten-Free Spinach Lasagna Cupcakes

So I listen to a lot of NPR. I live in Los Angeles, I’m a mother of two, I lean left politically, helped organize a CSA for my kid’s pre-school, and I’m in my car a lot. Therefore, this admission of public radio fandom should not surprise you one bit. What is surprising (to me, anyway) was my visceral reaction to a commercial (I know! On public radio!) that was playing all through the holiday season.

There is this company in Los Angeles that makes an incredible variety of lasagna cupcakes that are so mouth-watering that it is torturous to a celiac to even think about them. Much less hear them being pitched as the greatest holiday gift anyone could ever receive. And I’m pretty sure, by the way, they are the greatest holiday gift anyone could ever receive. Unless you’ve got the sprue.

All I could think about through the holidays were, can I please eat a lasagna cupcake, Lord? Just one? Or five? Already knowing the answer to this prayer, I took it upon myself to make some g-free lasagna cupcakes of my own. It’s much harder than it sounds, my friends.

You see, the one brand of gluten-free lasagna sold in Whole Foods is one of those “no-boil” lasagna noodle types. Which means you can’t make it into the bowl-shape. It also means that if you’re making lasagna cupcakes, which do not need as much cooking time as regular lasagna, your “no-boil” lasagna noodles are bullshit. And you’ll have to improvise with just breaking lasagna noodles like this –

Not only can you not make a bowl, they’ll crunch when you eat them. Even if the package scolds you for even thinking about cooking those noodles, you’ve got to boil those gluten-free noodles. No matter how many times you’ve wound up with gluten-free noodle mush. Boil those mothers. Cook up those noodles, shape them into a cupcake holder, and in return, you will enjoy the most divine creation ever, or at least since you’ve been banned from eating the semolina. Seriously. Love. Lasagna. Cupcakes. Next time, I’m experimenting with veggie, short rib, and roasted squash lasagna cupcakes. That’s how much I love this idea.

In the meantime, here’s how you can make your own handheld gluten-free lasagna cupcakes.

Gluten-Free Mac & Cheese Plus Chicken Fingers

Yowza! That’s some decadent dinner. But I’m all about trying to figure out how to recreate my favorite, really bad for you foods sans gluten. It was only a matter of time before I busted out a macaroni and cheese recipe that makes it worth skipping the boxed varieties. And even Oprah* agrees, this mac and cheese recipe is the absolute best. And you know what goes so well with mac and cheese? Chicken fingers. So gird your arteries, celiacs, you’re going to want to make this three-cheese dish worthy of the Queen of Talk and serve it up with a side of gluten-free chicken fingers. Duh.

Attention Celiacs! THIS is How You Eat Pasta

This gluten-free pasta recipe is a party in your mouth, so prepare to get down.

I’m sure it’s fab that I’ve ditched that starch on a regular basis now that I can’t have 90% of the pasta out in the universe. But when I want to get my pasta on, I go for it. Which is why I highly recommend this completely insane recipe for Pasta & Brie Magic (I just named it that!).

An awesome friend of mine first brought this olive oily, cheese-filled dish over to my house a few years ago — before I knew that regular old pasta could eventually kill me — and I was blown away. She didn’t have a recipe written down, but emailed some vague instructions which I’ve since experimented with and discovered the right mix. Before you dig into the recipe, and have a heart attack just by reading how much brie is involved, remember the note my bud gave to me: It never turns out too cheesy, but it can turn out too oily.

Now let’s talk about pasta. We are unbelievably lucky to live in a time where people make gluten-free pasta out of everything from quinoa to corn. You’re going to need to experiment until you find your favorite grain, and your favorite brand. I’m digging on Le Veneziane made in Italy right now. My entire family says it tastes exactly like normal gluten-filled pasta, and I totally agree. It’s made from corn flour, which I usually don’t love, but these Italians do know their noodles, and it blows away the competition.

Also, a gluten-free pasta cooking tip: No matter what the package says, unless I’m going for serious al dente, I always need to cook it a few minutes longer.

Here’s what you should be slathering all over that awesome g-free pasta: