Poor Celiacs Are Screwed

Just like a hoarder, I’m collecting all of my receipts to Whole Foods. Partially for tax reasons, and a little bit just to remind myself that I’ve got to cut spending elsewhere since I’m spending my entire salary on gluten-free groceries. I’ve said repeatedly, thank god I still don’t live in rural Oklahoma, and instead can take advantage of all of the gluten-free options a metropolis like LA has to offer. I should add to that thanks to the maker, and that my family can even afford the extra expense. So, thanks to Lifetime television network as well. There, I’m done being thankful.

When my buddy Jeanne Sager wrote on her blog, Inside Out, about people giving crappy food’esque products to food drives for the poor, it made me realize I had a duty, as a celiac who can even shop at places like Whole Foods, to bulk up my local food bank with some gf goodness. I can hear people snickering a little bit, because let’s face it, gluten-free eating is not always taken seriously.

I Ate That: Best Gluten-Free Crackers

Welcome to “I Ate That” where I daringly shove food down my gullet in the name of science. Or rather, in the name of finding a delicious substitute for my favorite gluten-y foods. Since I like to brag about eating crackers, it’s only fitting that I kick off this taste test with that one crunchy, wheaty, item that I honest-to-god could never live without: the cracker.

As a delivery system for cheese, you can do no better than a cracker. In fact, I say, could there be any higher honor for a food stuff? Table, saltines, seeded, baked, fried, sun dried . . . I’m not discriminating. I just need me some good crackers. Luckily, the cracker game is one that gluten-free is winning. In fact, there’s one cracker I would eat even if god herself came down and told me that I could gorge on gluten and never watch what I eat again.

Gluten-Free Austin: Celiac Capital of the World

I’ve only been back from Austin, Texas for a few hours and already I miss the ease of dining as I struggle to figure out where in the world to grab take-out that will appeal to my picky daughter and my celiac self. Because basically, my mind was blown this week as I chowed down in the best city in Texas (and quite frankly, a five state radius).  Here’s what happened in the first 36 hours I was there.

I went to three restaurants in a row that handed me a gluten-free menu. Three! Three gluten-free menus — in a freaking row! They know how to treat a girl who can’t hang with wheat. Also, check out that grocery store aisle above in Central Market. So much g-free business I had to walk away without buying anything so as not to buy EVERYTHING. Whole Foods, you need to take a lesson from the greatest grocery store of all time. Alternately, Central Market — please come to California. You know you want to, especially in the summers.

So here’s where I dined, and you should too if you’re looking for a good gf time in the live music capital of the world.

Best Gluten-Free Beers for Summer Boozin’

Oh, beer. I miss you. Or rather, I miss the idea of you (but IPAs, I do actually miss the drinking of you, a hell of a lot).

But ever since I found out beer is chock full o’ gluten I’ve been gazing fondly at the Sierra Nevada, and lamenting the fact that I can never, truly, enjoy visiting Portland, Oregon again. Luckily in the ever-expanding world of gluten-free goodies, there are a few people out there making a valiant effort in the world of beer. Sorghum is usually the grain of choice, as you can see in this display at Whole Foods, which admittedly, made me a little giddy.

However, all beers are not created equal, and that goes for the healthy for celiac versions as well. In my expert opinion*, these are the tops.

Gluten-Free Chocolate Chip Cookies That Don’t Suck

In my ongoing attempt to spend what should be my rent check, on gluten free goods at Whole Foods, I tested out these pre-balled gluten free chocolate chip cookies from Immaculate Baking Co. First I had to test the “raw cookie dough” flavor (duh, it wouldn’t be a proper test without it), and the first doughy bite made me want to eat more. So that was a win.

Supermarket Sweep at Whole Foods

I’ll admit that after my initial diagnosis I wasn’t really taking this gluten-free thing that seriously. I had already decided that every third Friday was “Gluten Gorge Friday” and a cupcake from Magnolia every now and again wouldn’t kill me. Then I had my sit down with my GI doctor where he scared me straight. See, I’m incredibly lucky that I — unlike many celiac disease peeps — was only sick for about three months before getting my diagnosis. And I started to feel better even before my diagnosis, and abrupt change to my diet. Sure I lost a weird amount of weight in those three months, and I was a total mess of a girl, but after coming out on the other side I quickly forgot the pain that pasta could bring. Then the doc showed me my non-existent villi in my small intestine and started throwing around words like, “diabetes” “osteoporosis” “stroke” and the dreaded “cancer.” Which prompted me to go to Whole Foods and come home with this: