Gluten-Free Portland: As If You Even Need This Guide

gluten-free-portland-oregonJust got back from Portland, Oregon. Totally full.

In spite of a rocky start wherein I was chasing children and eating whatever landed in front of my face, the rest of my Portland trip was filled with gluten-free goodness. And goodness, and goodness.

Lordy, do they know how to make a gfree lady fat and happy. Emphasis on the fat. I’m going to have to start doing cross-fit or something to work off all that deliciousness. Kyra, I’m blaming you for most of it. You guys, her cinnamon rolls and big pink cookies could bring about world peace. This one –

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I’m craving this, hard. That, and the all gluten-free food gorge Kyra and I went on at Groundbreaker Brewing. But since I’m back in LA and just have pictures and memories, let me tell you where else you can get your gluten-free eat on in Portland, and then just be jealous of your meals.  Continue reading

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A Rad GF Day in Portland with Kyra & Cupcakes

IMG_1488Yes, I am super lucky. I got to go to Kyra’s Bake Shop in Lake Oswego, Oregon (Portland adjacent, and Uber-able) and eat all of the things. But lest you think Kyra is only about cupcakes, let me fill you in on what happens when you’re like, “Oh, hey, lady! I know we talk a lot about hanging and eating, so show me what’s up in the PDX!”

Kyra brings it, ya’ll. And it’s not just cupcakes. But honestly, if you can ever get them, believe me they are the best things you’ll ever nom on. EVER. That, and the cinnamon roll, and the big pink cookie . . .

IMG_1492 . . . and basically every other dang thing up in that shop. If you’re ever in the general area of Kyra’s Bake Shop, do please go and stock up. I ate a cupcake after 4 days and it was amazing. THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN IN OUR WORLD. But that’s only the beginning of my fabulous afternoon with Kyra.

I’m in Portland, Oregon for an extended visit and when I asked, a  load of you recommended Ground Breaker Brewing as a great gluten-free place to go and get my eat and drink on. Kyra also recommended we get our eat on there and wow, did we.

IMG_1482So, yeah, Ground Breaker is an all gluten-free brewery and eatery with amazing local, fresh, delicious ingredients and we basically tried everything in the entire restaurant. Why wouldn’t we????? We both had a gluten-free pulled pork sandwich and salami pizza with a seasonal salad, which clearly was not quite enough for us ladies, since we also enjoyed the fried chicken with collard greens, a ginger IPA which was insane, and dessert. Yes, I said dessert.

Because I didn’t get enough sweets at Kyra’s (ahem), I was also able to stuff all of this almond cookie, seasonal cherry dairy-free ice cream sandwich up in my face. Sugar coated chamomile buds and cherries included.

IMG_1487Yes, it was the shizz, why do you ask?

The point being, Kyra showed me an amazing time and before I leave Portland I’m heading back to see if she really exists, or if I dreamed all of that. Lunch, basically every delicious thing up in her bakery—

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And a helluva good time.

You guys. Portland.

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5 Ways a Mom Gets Gluten’d

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One kid, enjoying nature in PDX

As someone who knows exactly how to prepare for, and enjoy, a vacation without eating gluten, I’m here to say that four days into my epic adventure I feel like my body has exploded from within. Instead of blaming poor planning (I have a list a mile long of safe places, and an adorable map drawn by friends to boot), or an unfriendly gluten-free city (I’m in Portland, yo), I’ve decided that I’m going to blame my kids.

Honestly, it’s legit. After all, when you’re single parenting for a few days and navigating fun things and getting the hang of public transportation and are wrangling kids who wander into a busy street if you’re not watching carefully, sometimes you do find yourselves in a desperate place where you just need to put food into everyone’s body and no, you cannot figure out how to take the light rail to the best gluten-free Thai restaurant 15 neighborhoods away.

That’s when gluten happens.

That, and these other things have happened that I do believe have resulted in me wanting to curl up and take my “nap day” early on this vacation. Or just vacation sans children, next time. Yes, I’m sticking to my children blaming. Judge away.  Continue reading

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Fortune Asian Noodle Challenge: GF Chicken Satay Rolls with Spicy Sriracha Peanut Sauce

IMG_1326Well, that was a mouthful of a headline, yes? You guys, I’m entering a contest!! I haven’t done this since I was showing sheep in Oklahoma. And then I found out we butchered them and ate them. And now I don’t eat lamb. ANYWAY.

Fortune Asian Noodles is having a blogger contest wherein we make delicious things and see if we can’t win some big prizes. They’ve got some noodles, some speciality noodles and wraps and rice and things and naturally I went for the gluten-free challenge with these Thai Peanut Rice Noodles.

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Yes, it IS nice to enjoy some traditional Asian dishes without the gluten. I highly recommend you do it early, and often. Fortune sent me these yums and I decided to step up a spring roll and turn it into one of my favorite things ever—chicken scratchin’ satay. It was super delicious, you guys, and totally hit that sweet (and spicy) spot.

I love this whole chill spring roll with a dash of hot peanut sauce. It’s like, “I see you summer, and I’ll raise you Sriracha.” You can even spice it up more by increasing your chili sauce quotient, but I found this to be very family friendly as well as super satisfying. And it’s not too complicated if you set up your work station first—

IMG_1319.jpgSo you can get your roll on as soon as the rice papers are soft and ready to go.

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Then you’ve got a plate full of rolls, ready for slicing into adorable little pieces.

IMG_1325.jpgVoila! Eat up, gluten-freers.

See below as to the locations where you can pick up your own Fortune Gluten Free Thai Peanut Noodles. And wish me luck. Or good fortune. See what I did there?

XO,

GIMB Continue reading

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Gluten-Free Los Angeles: Mandarette, Home State, Mama Shelter & A Cautionary Tale

IMG_1281I’ve figured out the secret to hanging onto the fun, carefree, anything goes life we all had, or attempted to have, before kids. It’s called a week at Grandma’s house and I highly recommend it. The kids go to Grandma’s, that is. You stay put and do you.

Of course you can’t be footloose and fancy free about everything when you’ve got a bad case of the sprue. You do have to watch what you eat, sadly, and that means not getting so loaded you don’t care if that donut isn’t gluten-free because it looks gluten-free, dammit! That will not end well, and the point of the child-free week is make every non-mac and cheese making, carpool driving, moment count. Don’t spend it on the pot.

With that in mind, let me guide you around my week of freedom, which also meant not cooking a gd thing. NO DISHES, PEOPLE. I’m telling you, it was epic.  Continue reading

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What to Gluten-Free Make When It’s Hot AF

IMG_1224.JPGHoly crap balls, people. I’m shocked to still be here and not completely burned to a crisp on the side of one of the many Los Angeles freeways I’m forced to drive upon in this hellish beginning to summer, because I just freaking gave up and gave into the fire. How are you? Hot as fuck? Hot as fuck. Me, too.

While the heat can, at times, curb the ol’ appetite, a human’s still gotta’ eat. Sure you can go out for tacos, as seen above (psssst, I’ve found the holy grail of gluten-free queso!!!!), but going out to eat also means getting into your car that is probably just sitting there waiting to burn your skin off. So unless you’re a raw food type, that means you’ve gotta’ cook. But no one wants to add heat to hell, so what’s a gluten-free, sweaty, gal to do? This.

PicMonkey CollageYes, this is the first thing to do. Get a gluten-free pizza sent right to your house. But be sure you tip well because that poor dude got into his hot car and sweated his way to your house while you were inside with the shades drawn playing WiiU or whatever it is that you do when it’s hot AF.

But you know as well as I do that delivery is mostly not an option for us gluten-freers, so if you MUST prepare your own food, use as little heat as possible. I mean, do NOT turn on that oven. DO NOT.

Try these less-hot dishes instead.  Continue reading

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Everything I Ate at LA’s Newest Allergy-Friendly Bakery

Bake Sales Are My Bitch

IMG_1044.JPGLike so many of us in the world, when I get an invitation to a party, event, trial, whatever, my first impulse is to panic. Yes, even when food is involved because when you’ve got, ahem, issues, you never know if you’ll starve or get sick.

Naturally, a gluten-free and vegan bakery invite would put that particular worry to rest, yes? Yes. But. The next part of the worry that washes over me like the neurotic lady I am is the biggest fear of all—it’s going to taste like pooh. Or be filled with kale. Either/or.

Pomegranate, a gluten-free and vegan bakery and coffee shop on W. 3rd Street in Los Angeles is happily neither of those things (although they do have a pumpkin kale bread that I’m sure my husband will love), and filled with the most amazing desserts. I should know, I tried every one of them.

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