First of all let me just say that my GI doc would be APPALLED at what I did last night. I’m sorry Dr. Nowain. You are right, and I am wrong. I am the worst patient you have ever had, and you would be well within your rights to eject me from your roster. Still.
My sister-in-law told me — and I since verified and disproved it on the Internet — that Corona is wheat-free. After ascertaining that this beer does not contain wheat, but it does contain barley (thanks, Wikipedia! Ummmm….), I dismissed it as an option. After all, barley is all gluten, all the time. But then I had this thought: What if it’s only wheat gluten that bothers me? (I just heard Dr. Nowain sigh, and the Celiac Associations ban me from their secret meetings.)
I’ve seen people on various forums say they have no issue when drinking the Mexican lager, so my magical thinking made me give it a shot. After all, we have a ton left over from a taco party and my husband can’t drink it all, no matter how hard he tries. So I popped open a cold one and threw a lemon slice in and went to town. Fourteen hours later, I’m still doing fine. I did get a sudden headache when I was about 1/4 into the bottle, but it went away so I’m thinking it was just from all that brow furrowing as I concentrated on my gut. The real issue is whether or not this is hurting me without giving me a violent outward reaction. Perhaps I just guaranteed a stroke at age 55. And you know what? Totally not worth it. Because what I forgot when I got excited about having “normal” people things is that I don’t even really like Corona.
I mean, with a lime it’s okay on a hot day. But a sitting around and drinking beer, it is not. As a going up to the bar and ordering beer, it’s basically for frat guys. I prefer the IPA family, and alas, I’m guessing all that gluten is what makes it delicious.
After you are forced to go gluten-free, you kind of lose the right to be picky. While I’ll be sticking to gluten-free beer when I indulge, if I’m stranded on a desert isle and a tray with two Coronas with lime wedge suddenly appear, I will enjoy a cold one without fear. Who am I kidding? Some fear. I’ll still be neurotic in paradise. Either way, whoo-hooo! Beer!
Image via April L. Sanders/Flickr